Tag: One Liners

Women may not hit harder, but they hit lower. Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil. There’s a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can’t get away. I don’t trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn’t die. Worrying works! 90% of the things I…

God must love stupid people. He made SO many. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman. The sole purpose of a child’s middle name, is so he can tell when he’s really in trouble. Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing…

Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea… does that mean that one enjoys it? Some people are like Slinkies … not really good for anything, but you can’t help smiling when you see one tumble down the…

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience. I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming…