Tag: jokes
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Jokes 08-31-10
What’s the difference between a woman and a fridge? A fridge doesn’t fart when you pull your meat out. A guy was on his first date with a notoriously loose girl. She was immediately receptive to his foreplay after they parked the car. The petting went on and he put his hand in her panties.…
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Jokes 08-24-10
An engineer and a physicist are in a hot-air balloon. After a few hours they lose track of where they are and descend to get directions. They yell to a jogger, “Hey, can you tell us where we’re at?” After a few moments the jogger responds, “You’re in a hot-air balloon.” The engineer says, “You…
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Jokes 08-17-10
Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience. Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. Yes is the answer. Women might be able to fake orgasms but men can fake whole relationships. Light travels faster then sound. This is why some people…
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Yet another 27 One Liners
Women may not hit harder, but they hit lower. Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil. There’s a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can’t get away. I don’t trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn’t die. Worrying works! 90% of the things I…
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Holy shit theres 25 more One Liners
God must love stupid people. He made SO many. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman. The sole purpose of a child’s middle name, is so he can tell when he’s really in trouble. Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing…
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Fixed My Computer
After going through a virus attack, Losing a hard drive, Fighting off hackers, Upgrading all my software, Installing fire-walls, Being threatened with being cut-off by my email provider, And a host of other problems… I have fixed my computer… And NOW it works exactly the way I want it to!
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25 More One Liners
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea… does that mean that one enjoys it? Some people are like Slinkies … not really good for anything, but you can’t help smiling when you see one tumble down the…
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The good old days
“When I was a boy, my Momma would send me down to the corner store with a dollar, and I’d come back with five pounds of potatoes, two loaves of bread, three pints of milk, a pound of cheese, a box of tea, and a half a dozen eggs. You can’t do that now. Too…
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25 One Liners
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience. I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming…
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Jokes 05-31-10
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked God for forgiveness. I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the people in his car. The last thing I want to do is hurt you…