Tag: humor

  • Men vs. Women

    Why is it that God has seen fit to make women and men so different? Besides the obvious differences, genitalia, femininity, child bearing and menstrual cycles, there are a thousand diametrical contradictions between us. It’s because of his sense of humor, that’s why. He had just finished building the earth, heavens and eternity and when […]

  • Growing Old…

    At 59, I think I’ve noticed that deterioration has not only become foreseeable but inevitable. I feel like one of those public statues that attract pigeons. I’ve crossed the half-century mark, and already sense the whoosh of angel wings around my shoulders. I find it shocking, and scary, that I’m now closer to eighty than […]

  • Low Riders

    Today I saw a kid, who couldn’t have been no more than 12. His pants were down over his hips and just above his penis. I am sure this appendage was the only thing keeping his pants from falling off completely. He would take three steps and pull them up, take three steps and pull […]

  • Things better left unsaid

    We’ve all had those times when something comes out of our mouths that was meant to stay locked away forever. Except of course those things you can’t wait to share with your best friend and only if it’s behind the other persons back. I knew the meatloaf was horrendous and instantly thought meatlump, definitely not […]

  • Male doing laundry

    I hate doing laundry. I hate it so much that I wait until everything I own is dirty before I face it.  Why is it that women know the difference between the colors and the whites? Men don’t. To us it’s simple. If it’s underwear or T-shirts it’s white, everything else is colors. We bought […]

  • Constant Struggle

    I am always in a constant struggle in some part of my life. It’s a never ending battle of how to get by. I went to Brookshire Brothers to pick up some toilet paper and came close to a coronary when I saw the entire aisle filled with a virtual cornucopia of defication removal products. […]

  • 10 Signs You Might be a Dictator

    Lately, the news has been filled with Middle East uprisings, citizens taking to the streets to overthrow their long-time dictators. Despite holding positions of power for decades, many dictators did not start out that way. Some of them were just normal people before they joined the military and started on their paths to pursuing nationwide […]

  • Six Ways Japan Has Perverted Car Culture

    Ever taken a close look at popular Japanese culture? It is loaded with off-color characters, bizarre television game shows, and inappropriate animated movie plot lines that delve into the lighter, darker and seriously oddball sides of Japanese life. This got me wondering – has Japan managed to port over this perverted worldview into its auto […]

  • Yet another 27 One Liners

    Women may not hit harder, but they hit lower. Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil. There’s a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can’t get away. I don’t trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn’t die. Worrying works! 90% of the things I […]

  • Holy shit theres 25 more One Liners

    God must love stupid people. He made SO many. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman. The sole purpose of a child’s middle name, is so he can tell when he’s really in trouble. Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing […]