Tag: funny

  • Men vs. Women

    Why is it that God has seen fit to make women and men so different? Besides the obvious differences, genitalia, femininity, child bearing and menstrual cycles, there are a thousand diametrical contradictions between us. It’s because of his sense of humor, that’s why. He had just finished building the earth, heavens and eternity and when […]

  • Growing Old…

    At 59, I think I’ve noticed that deterioration has not only become foreseeable but inevitable. I feel like one of those public statues that attract pigeons. I’ve crossed the half-century mark, and already sense the whoosh of angel wings around my shoulders. I find it shocking, and scary, that I’m now closer to eighty than […]

  • 10 Signs You Might be a Dictator

    Lately, the news has been filled with Middle East uprisings, citizens taking to the streets to overthrow their long-time dictators. Despite holding positions of power for decades, many dictators did not start out that way. Some of them were just normal people before they joined the military and started on their paths to pursuing nationwide […]

  • Jokes 08-31-10

    What’s the difference between a woman and a fridge? A fridge doesn’t fart when you pull your meat out. A guy was on his first date with a notoriously loose girl. She was immediately receptive to his foreplay after they parked the car. The petting went on and he put his hand in her panties. […]

  • Jokes 08-24-10

    An engineer and a physicist are in a hot-air balloon. After a few hours they lose track of where they are and descend to get directions. They yell to a jogger, “Hey, can you tell us where we’re at?” After a few moments the jogger responds, “You’re in a hot-air balloon.” The engineer says, “You […]

  • Jokes 08-17-10

    Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience. Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. Yes is the answer. Women might be able to fake orgasms but men can fake whole relationships. Light travels faster then sound. This is why some people […]

  • Jokes 05-31-10

    I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked God for forgiveness. I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the people in his car. The last thing I want to do is hurt you […]

  • Jokes 05-24-10

    A woman got on a bus holding a baby. The bus driver said: “That’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen.” In a huff, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus the man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated and […]

  • Jokes 05-17-10

    Jim and Edna are both mental patients. One day Jim jumps into the swimming pool but, doesn’t come up for air. Quick as a flash, Edna sees her friend in trouble, so she dives in and pulls him out. Later, the hospital director calls Edna into his office and says “Edna, I’ve got some good […]

  • Jokes 05-10-10

    A cop on a horse says to the little girl on the bike, “Did Santa get you that?” “Yes,” replies the little girl. “Well tell him to put a reflector light on it next year.” and fines her $5 The little girl looks up at the cop and says. “Nice horse you’ve got there, did […]