MaleWail

Author: RantingSam

  • Inanimate Objects

    The other day I bought a little wireless mouse for my lap top. I get home, excited about not having to use that touch pad thingie anymore, and I can’t for the life of me, open the package. It’s one of those sealed all around the edges, hard plastic packages. I started muttering expletives at […]

  • Men vs. Women

    Why is it that God has seen fit to make women and men so different? Besides the obvious differences, genitalia, femininity, child bearing and menstrual cycles, there are a thousand diametrical contradictions between us. It’s because of his sense of humor, that’s why. He had just finished building the earth, heavens and eternity and when […]

  • A Day in Sam’s Life…

    So I went to the pharmacy to pick up some Super Spike styling gel. I was milling around the back of the store pondering over the vast assortment of hair styling products. All of a sudden a blonde cashier from the front raced past me and alerted another staffer that a woman was trying to […]

  • Growing Old…

    At 59, I think I’ve noticed that deterioration has not only become foreseeable but inevitable. I feel like one of those public statues that attract pigeons. I’ve crossed the half-century mark, and already sense the whoosh of angel wings around my shoulders. I find it shocking, and scary, that I’m now closer to eighty than […]

  • Low Riders

    Today I saw a kid, who couldn’t have been no more than 12. His pants were down over his hips and just above his penis. I am sure this appendage was the only thing keeping his pants from falling off completely. He would take three steps and pull them up, take three steps and pull […]

  • Things better left unsaid

    We’ve all had those times when something comes out of our mouths that was meant to stay locked away forever. Except of course those things you can’t wait to share with your best friend and only if it’s behind the other persons back. I knew the meatloaf was horrendous and instantly thought meatlump, definitely not […]

  • Male doing laundry

    I hate doing laundry. I hate it so much that I wait until everything I own is dirty before I face it.  Why is it that women know the difference between the colors and the whites? Men don’t. To us it’s simple. If it’s underwear or T-shirts it’s white, everything else is colors. We bought […]

  • Constant Struggle

    I am always in a constant struggle in some part of my life. It’s a never ending battle of how to get by. I went to Brookshire Brothers to pick up some toilet paper and came close to a coronary when I saw the entire aisle filled with a virtual cornucopia of defication removal products. […]