Times are tough and it’s hard to find ways to get by in America. We’re not at the point of bread lines, but some of us feel as if we’re circling close to that drain. A solution needs to be proposed. An American Solution: ransacking the wisdom of another culture—in this case, the Indian Hindu culture. I’m talking about the Kama Sutra. As a *ahem* self-appointed expert in this field, I just ask you to bear with me through this article, and your bank account will be reaping the benefits in no time.

No gym membership or exercise equipment to stay in shape.   The cardio advantage is obvious, but you’d be surprised at the strength training you can get from lifting a girl for various positions or having to support your own weight in some variations on the missionary position. And if your girl is into pounding McDonald’s to save cash, then you’ll get some extra resistance when you have to pick her up. Her low self-esteem and extra mass will make her a keeper until your arms are ripped. Just fight through the tears.

No more money spent on entertainment.  If you’re serious about saving money, then hold off on that new flat screen or gaming console a while longer, and get your dick wet. There is no way you’re going to give a damn about some plumber saving some whore princess or whatever when you have 64 sexual acts in the Kama Sutra to work through. Are you familiar with The Widely Opened Position? No? Unplug your computer and get to it.

No need to travel.  Once you read the book, you’re as cultured as you’re going to get. There’s nothing out there in the world that’s really more profound than a book that teaches you about foreplay, because it will get you laid on a consistent basis, and that’s all that really matters.

Save costs on energy.  This is kind of a last ditch effort when you hit rock bottom, but hey, it’s a book, and books burn. When you’ve maxed out on payday loans and your fat girlfriend has left you because you can’t lift her any more, you can throw the book in a trashcan with some newspaper and light it up. It will help keep you warm until you can get to the inevitable breadline in the morning.

Best of luck using an ancient Hindu text to keep your ass afloat in the recession!

Tracy Hall is a guest writer and blogger for eDrugstore.MD, a safe U.S. medication facilitator since 2001 where customers can buy Viagra online & safely order Cialis in the convenience of their own home.