Men are not women, and we are not silent about what we like. Normally we’re not too talky, either, but this is going to be an exception. We need to have a little man to man talk about what we love, as a show of solidarity.
Since the Internet embodies the masculine virtue of individual expression, be sure to sound off in the comments section if I miss something. Let’s look at ten things that make this a man’s world.
A gun is a loud, powerful way to wreck what you don’t like and create what you do. As a tool of war, a gun is man’s most powerful possession (unless you have your own missiles).
With a hammer, you can beat on things with impunity. With a saw, you can conquer a tree and then build your house out of its corpse. Yeah, tools are manly.
8. Fast Cars
If it pushes you back in your seat, it’s got power. And men love power in all its incarnations. Anything a man can use to chase down his prey faster is all right.
7. Getting a Great Deal
New car deals and dollar specials on beer are two of man’s favorite things. What’s better than getting what you already love, on the cheap?
Whether you chase it down at 200 miles an hour or chased it down on foot, there’s nothing like taking a bite out of your latest conquered beast. Bonus points if it’s still alive when you do.
Fire can be used to keep you warm on a cold night on your tundra of choice. It can be used to cook meat, and it can be used to burn your enemies, Viking style. And if you have more hair than you know what to do with, fire can take care of that, too. Is there anything fire can’t do?
There is nothing manlier than pushing a button, then hearing that a few thousand miles away you’ve blown up something massive. Don’t like that bridge or building? A missile will get rid of it! Plus it gives you an excuse to use tools to build something new in its place.
3. Big Vehicles
There’s nothing quite like a truck that can haul a boat. Or a boat that can yank a whale out of the water. The bigger and louder the vehicle, the manlier it is.
Beer is great, but it’s not alcoholic enough. Real men pour Everclear into their eyeballs, because that is the fastest way to get drunk. And go blind so you don’t have to work anymore. Real men don’t need eyesight.
1. Hot Chicks
The ultimate conquest, hot chicks are pure pleasure. Great to look at and great to touch. How many hot chicks can you handle at once? A real man can’t count that high without employing both fingers and toes.
If this had been a list of things men hate, it would’ve said missing stuff (like targets or landmines). So chime in if it’s not here but it should be.
Annie is a lifestyle blogger for Dobovo, the one-stop resource of affordable Kiev apartments.