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jokes
Jokes 01-15-09
Q. What do bungee jumping and hookers have in common? A. They both cost a hundred bucks and if the rubber breaks, you’re screwed. Two newlyweds go on their honeymoon. As they start getting hot and heavy, the woman says, “Please be careful with me—I’m a virgin.” The puzzled man replies, “But you’ve been married [...]
Jokes 01-08-09
Rosy, posing thoughtfully in the mirror, says to Nina, “I think I’m going to see a dietitian.” Nina asks, “Why?” Rosy answers, “‘Cause I need to know once and for all how many calories there are in semen.” Nina replies, “I really have no clue, but if you’re swallowing that much of it, no guy [...]
Jokes 01-01-09
Q. What does the receptionist at the sperm clinic say to clients as they are leaving? A. Thanks for coming. An extremely ugly woman walks into a store with her two kids. The man at the counter asks, “Are they twins?” The woman says, “No, he’s nine and she’s seven.” Then she says, “Why? Do [...]
Jokes 12-18-08
Two blondes are working on a house. One of them, who’s nailing down siding, has been reaching into her pouch, pulling out a nail, and either tossing it over her shoulder or nailing it in. The second blonde, figuring this was worth looking into, asks, “Hey—how come you’re throwing half the nails over your shoulder? [...]
Jokes 12-11-08
A young executive is leaving the office late one evening when he finds the CEO standing in front of the shredder with a piece of paper in her hand. “Listen,” says the CEO, “this is a very sensitive and important document here, and my secretary has gone for the night. Can you make this thing [...]
Jokes 12-04-08
Three cowboys — from Oklahoma, Arkansas, and Texas—are sitting around a fire. The Oklahoma cowboy gloats, “Just the other day, a bull gored six men in the corral, but I wrestled it to the ground with my hands.”The Arkansan replies, “Oh, yeah? Yesterday a 15-foot rattler came at me, so I grabbed it, bit its [...]
Jokes 11-27-08
Q. How do you make your girlfriend scream while having sex? A. Call her and tell her. Q. What’s the definition of trust? A. Getting a blow job from your cannibal girlfriend. Q. Did you hear about the flasher who was thinking of retiring? A. He decided to stick it out for one more year. [...]
Jokes 11-20-08
A woman was walking down the street when she was approached by a man. The man said, “I must have you right now! I’ll drop $500 on the ground at your feet and in the time it takes for you to pick it up, I can have my way with you from behind!” The woman [...]
Jokes 11-13-08
Q: Why is air like sex? A: Because it is no big deal until you’re not getting any. Q: How do you know the toothbrush was invented in West Virginia? A: If it was invented anywhere else, it would be called a teethbrush. Q: What do you get when you combine a penis and a [...]
Jokes 11-6-08
A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife, “Mother of Six” in spite of her objections. One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it’s time to go home and wants to find out if his [...]
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