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Yet another 27 One Liners
Women may not hit harder, but they hit lower. Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil. There’s a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can’t get away. I don’t trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn’t die. Worrying works! 90% of the things I [...]
Holy shit theres 25 more One Liners
God must love stupid people. He made SO many. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman. The sole purpose of a child’s middle name, is so he can tell when he’s really in trouble. Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing [...]
Fixed My Computer
After going through a virus attack, Losing a hard drive, Fighting off hackers, Upgrading all my software, Installing fire-walls, Being threatened with being cut-off by my email provider, And a host of other problems… I have fixed my computer… And NOW it works exactly the way I want it to!
25 More One Liners
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea… does that mean that one enjoys it? Some people are like Slinkies … not really good for anything, but you can’t help smiling when you see one tumble down the [...]
The New Doctor
I went to the doctor the other day and found out my new doctor is a young female,and drop-dead gorgeous! I was embarrassed, but she said, “Don’t worry, I’m a professional – I’ve seen it all before. Just tell me what’s wrong and I’ll help you in any way I can.” I said, “I’m not [...]
The good old days
“When I was a boy, my Momma would send me down to the corner store with a dollar, and I’d come back with five pounds of potatoes, two loaves of bread, three pints of milk, a pound of cheese, a box of tea, and a half a dozen eggs. You can’t do that now. Too [...]
25 One Liners
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience. I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming [...]
Jokes 05-03-10
Why do dwarfs laugh while they play soccer? Because the grass tickles their balls. Social Security A retired gentleman went to the social security office to apply for social security. The woman behind the counter asked him for his driver’s license to verify his age. He looked into his pockets and realized he had left [...]
10 inspirational quotes that can improve yourself
It might take a little coffee or probably a few rounds of beer or any other booze you could get your hands on when it comes to relaxing after a hard day’s work. Well, yeah I’m guilty about that one as well, unless I’m caught dead wearing a lampshade over my head after a few [...]
Family Guy Quotes 13
Chris (talking to Peter): You’re just running away from your troubles by being here! Peter: What are you talking about? Meg’s right here. Lois: I’ve seen that crappy Julia Roberts movie forty-seven times. Have you seen the lips on that woman? Like a baboons ass on her face. Lois: Nurse this woman is in labour! [...]
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