Ever taken a close look at popular Japanese culture? It is loaded with off-color characters, bizarre television game shows, and inappropriate animated movie plot lines that delve into the lighter, darker and seriously oddball sides of Japanese life. This got me wondering – has Japan managed to port over this perverted worldview into its auto industry as well? After a little digging, I was shocked to discover that yes, the Japanese have subtly introduced their pervy tendrils into all sorts of car-shaped pies.
Let’s take a look at six ways that Japan has perverted the auto industry:
1. Tiny Cars = Perfect for Inappropriate Touching. A growing problem in Japan’s subway system is the unwanted groping that women have to deal with from pervy businessmen who are pressed against them during the obscenely overpacked rush hour commute. Ultra-compact “kei” cars from companies like Suzuki and Mazda manage to squeeze as many as five passengers as tightly together as possible so you can take your sexual harassment on the road with you. It certainly doesn’t help when you name one of your kei cars the Daihatsu Naked.
2. Cars That Eat People. Think I’m exaggerating? Think again. This car was originally built by a Japanese mechanic who was obsessed with Universal Studios and their Jaws ride. Universal didn’t want anything to do with him, so he was forced to roam the streets on his own dime, randomly devouring passersby. Sharks with wheels? Perverted.
3. Absolutely Insane Vans. I’m sorry, but building your van in the image of Voltron is not something that the non-perverted brain ever even conceives of, let alone executes. I don’t know what’s scarier – the fact that these vans feature wings so sharp that you could probably use them to dice carrots, or the very real possibility that at least one of these vans is futuristic-looking enough to actually travel through time.
4. Tentacle Scions. I know, I know, technically this car (nicknamed “The Squid”) was built for Scion’s Battle of the Builds by a team of U.S. Navy servicemen. But it’s covered in tentacles, and it actually won the grand prize, which only further illustrates the sheer perversity of Scion’s Japanese corporate masters. Because we all know what those tentacles are really for (NSFW).
5. Men Making Little Trucks Bigger. When you see a normal Toyota Tacoma driving down the road, you probably don’t give it a second thought. However, when you see a Tacoma with a giant lift kit, you think “Wow! Someone is trying to compensate for some inadequacy somewhere…” Then you laugh, ’cause thoughts like that make you the pervert!
6. The Honda Puyo. This concept car is completely covered with soft silicone. Honda says it’s to help protect pedestrians in the event of an accident. This model pinching the side of the car over and over more accurately demonstrates the logic behind Honda’s silicone car technology. I feel dirty even watching this.
About The Author: Jason Lancaster is the editor of TacomaHQ.com, a popular website dedicated to the Toyota Tacoma.