Marge (on radio): Husband on murderous rampage. Send help. Over.
Chief Wiggum: Whew, thank God that’s over. I was worried for a little bit.

Mr. Burns: I don’t like being outdoors Smithers, for one thing, there’s too many fat children.

Bart: What’s Santa’s Little Helper doing to that dog? Looks like he’s trying to jump over, but can’t quite make it.

Grandpa: Dear Mr. President, There are too many states nowadays. Please eliminate three.
P.S. I am not a crackpot.

Homer: It’s true, I’m a Rageaholic…..I just can’t live without Rageahol.