Only In Canada

1. Only in Canada……can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
2. Only in Canada...…are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
3. Only in Canada……do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
4. Only in Canada…..do people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
5. Only in Canada……do banks leave the doors to the vault open and then chain the pens to the counters.
6. Only in Canada……do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
7. Only in Canada……do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won’t miss a call from someone we didn’t want to talk to in the first place.
8. Only in Canada……do we buy hot dogs in packages of twelve and buns in packages of eight.
9. Only in Canada…..do we use the word ‘politics’ to describe the process so well: ‘Poli’ in Latin meaning ‘many’ and ‘tics’ meaning ‘bloodsucking creatures’.
10. Only in Canada……do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

You know you’re from Canada when …
1. You only know three spices: salt, pepper and ketchup.
2. You design your Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
3. The mosquitoes have landing lights.
4. You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.
5. You have 10 favorite recipes for moose meat.
6. Canadian Tire on any Saturday is busier than the toy stores at Christmas.
7. You live in a house that has no front step, yet the door is one meter above the ground.
8. You’ve taken your kids trick-or-treating in a blizzard.
9. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled in with snow.
10. You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and a flannel nightie with only 8 buttons.
11. You owe more money on your snowmobile than your car.
12. The local paper covers national and international headlines on 2 pages, but requires 6 pages for hockey.
13. At least twice a year, the kitchen doubles as a meat processing plant.
14. The most effective mosquito repellent is a shotgun.
15. Your snow blower gets stuck on the roof.
16. You think the start of deer season is a national holiday.
17. You head south to go to your cottage.
18. You frequently clean grease off your barbecue so the bears won’t prowl on your deck.
19. You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
20. The major parish fund-raiser isn’t bingo it’s sausage making.
21. You find -40C a little chilly.
22. The trunk of your car doubles as a deep freeze.
23. You attend a formal event in your best clothes, your finest Jewellery and your Sorrels.
24. You can play road hockey on skates.
25. You know 4 seasons: Winter, Still Winter, almost Winter and Construction.
26. The municipality buys a Zamboni before a bus.
27. You understand the Labatt Blue commercials.
28. You perk up when you hear the theme from “Hockey Night in Canada”.
29. You actually get these jokes and forward them to all your Canadian friends.


There are several webmaster tools that are used for the purpose of internet marketing. Tactics to generate more revenues from ppc is the most important of all. Though there are other equally important factors i.e. dsl speed ect. as well, but smart ppc amounts are the most important of all.

24 inch LCD

CASH for COMMENTS is holding a sneaky bastard blogging contest to get paid a free 24? wide screen LCD monitor. The contest is being sponsored by Elite Baseball Instruction dot Com which gives baseball training videos in hitting, pitching, infield defense, and outfield playing. He is also giving away a Free 4-Hour Workweek Book to enter early and the winner will be updated on the same blog post to drive traffic to their own site. Click here for more details the 24 inch LCD giveaway.

Also check out the sneaky bastard’s FaveMe Up TrainStaion.

This is a great way to gain readership and network. I will call this idea, FaveMe UP train station. We are all looking to increase our Technorati Fave count.

Vacation Update

Well my vacation that started on Aug 3 2007 has ended. I go back to work on Monday. I camped at Handhills High Country Hideaway. It was a beautiful and peaceful campground east of Drumheller, Alberta. Of course i stayed in a tent that was shorter than me. I’m six foot two. The air mattress barely fit in the tent, there was no way i was sleeping on the ground. I didn’t get a picture of me hanging out of the tent however i did get a picture of the tent.

tent

I really enjoyed being able to get away from work and the city. I did some fishing, which was unsuccessful. I sat by the fire and relaxed, roasted marsh mallows and hotdogs.

Even took some time to finish reading Tim Ferriss’ The 4-Hour Work Week. It was a great place to sit and read the chapter on Liberation. Makes it hard to go back to work, one week of isn’t enough time.

Oh well back to the grind, dealing with customers and clients that are so hard to keep happy. I work in the temporary staffing industry. Which is such high demand in the busy city of Calgary. Calgary currently has the highest demand for Labour in Canada. I see small and big businesses going out of business all the time. I’ll write more on that in a later post.

Back to the Vacation, Like I said in my last post I was going to visit the Royal Tyrrell Museum. Which was awesome. It is a world class museum, it has the most extensive collection of dinosaur fossils and exhibits on prehistoric life. I made a couple of video’s of the visit. The quality is not the best but it shows most of the displays inside the museum.

That is one video of the displays in the museum, I could have spent hours video taping every little detail, but I would still be there taping. I also filmed the Jungle they have in the museum that resembles Alberta in prehistoric days.

It was pretty neat to walk into a Jungle although it was inside the museum.

Back at the campsite there was constantly these little bunnies running around. I got some more shaky video of the bunnies they were so funny.

On the last night the weather decide to go side ways on us. A big thunderstorm rolled in so we decided to get out of there before we got too wet. We video taped the trip back to Drumheller which included an interesting sunset.

That was all of the vacation. The rest of time I spent watching Movies and reading blogs.

Vacation

I have been on Vacation for awhile now. I haven’t been updating Malewail that often. This past Friday I attended a Murder Mystery party. It was a lot of fun. I played a mortician Jacob Holloway. I was a morbid undertaker that was very suspicious. I never got any pictures or video tape of the murder. But I did get a video of the pig roast that followed.

I will be out camping for the next few days. I will be visiting Drumheller, Alberta where the Royal Tyrrell Museum is located. So I will try and upload some new videos from that and some pictures.

6 Keys to Locate Most Suitable Hosting Provider for your Site

Author: Joel Higgs

6 Keys to locate most suitable hosting provider…

Technical Support: Live support is preferred. Next comes email support, which is a must!

Prices/Money Back Guarantee: Many web hosting companies does not offer a money-back guarantee, however it is important to have especially when you want to switch companies, try out the services.

Upgrades Pakages Available: Skip web-hosting company that only offers one package. You would need more space and bandwidth as you expands
your online business. Especially bandwidth, as you do not want your server to be down when you traffic increases. Plan for expansion.

Friendly Control Panel: Cpanel is one of the most popular control panels for web hosts to offer, but there are others. Ask what type of control panel your web host is offering to provide you with. This is important for beginners, as an easier interface means easier tasks for making updates to their website/accessing emails.

Added Features: Instant Install is a feature offered by most web hosts these days. Other features like forums, blogs and guestbooks should be available for installation.

Reviews/Feedback from Users: While looking at the prices, tools available on these web hosting companies, testimonials of our customers using these web hosting companies should also be checked out to see the experiences of these users that have actually used these products as ultimately it is these users that are the ones who know the exact advantages and disadvantages of these web hosting companies.

Web hosting directories provides you an easily comparison between different web hosting companies. A typical web hosting directory provides a list
of web hosting companies complete with the information of services these web hosting services provides such as its different hosting plans, prices, etc… These information will get you started to look for one that suits you best.

Save time and efforts on comparing top 10 hosting companies. Check out our comprehensive comparison
table at: http://www.buywebbiz.com/host/comparehosting.html

This article is free for reproduction but must be reproduced in its entirety,including live links & this copyright statement must be included.
http://www.buywebbiz.com/

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Lack of Post

I haven’t updated Malewail in almost a week. I have been working out some computer issues. I also have had a really bad tooth ache. The tooth is now no longer a issue since it is not there anymore. Wow! We all should be dentist. The cost of dental care is insane. I was in the dentist chair for one hour and was charged $280. 

I have will be starting a schedule of different post everyday. Some videos, links to other blogs, money saving Mondays and so on. If I have something to rant about I will rant.

Do anyone have any suggestions, comments or ideas? Or Do anyone even read Malewail?

How To Find The Best Web Host

Author: Don Fletchinger

 

Building a website is very easy as there are countless web hosts, software programs, and website builders on the internet to choose from. But building a website that really produces profits, that builds traffic and ranks among the top websites on the net is extremely difficult to do.

Choose a hosting service that owns their own equipment and has high-speed connections to multiple Internet backbones, backup power generators and backup systems in place. Make sure they are a reliable business that has been around for awhile. Check their support system and make sure they offer 24/7 email, ticket system or live telephone support. Try their support team and see if they respond quickly enough for your needs and if their support staff is helpful and knowledgeable.

You should be able to host at least one domain name. There should be no restrictions on sub-domains. Look for e-mail access as well. The better the service, the more options they will provide for email. Make sure to get ample disk space for your website and try to get as much bandwidth as possible. Also make sure that your hosting service includes a statistics program so you can monitor your website traffic on your website.

If you plan on running a internet store or ECommerce shopping cart you need a hosting service that offers this service and supports SSL(Secure Sockets Layer.) When starting an online storefront, a web host will be able to guide you through the hosting process effectively. Ask the host about upgrade options so you can have an upgrade plan in place for when it is needed. Starting an online store is an exciting opportunity, and your web host will impact the success of your store.

Building a website that works, that drives traffic for long-term profits, takes the right process, the right tools and the right training. Check and see if the web host offers a website building program and tutorials to help you along the way. Make sure they have tools to optimize your website for the search engines. Check and see if they offer extras like auto-responders, Ezine publishing, and website submission services. Most web hosts bundle their services in package deals for you to choose from.

Don’t be afraid to ask questions. Good website hosting services have no problem directing you to helpful information or answering your questions in a way that you can understand.

Source: Submit Articles at ArticlesBase.com

About the Author:

Don Fletchinger is a entrepreneur that specializes in helping people make money on the internet. His money making website contains diversified opportunities, training programs and ideas to help people earn paychecks from home. http://www.home-business-paychecks.com/best-web-host.html