Top 10 Movies of 2008

The Dark Knight [Blu-ray] – Excellent movie. Heath Ledger gives an excellent performance as the Joker.

Iron Man [Blu-ray] – All around a great performance

Wall-E [Blu-ray] – Excellent animated film of a little garbage collecting robot who wants nothing more then companionship, great film for the entire family.

Wanted [Blu-ray] – An assassin movie full of twists and awesome stunts.

Hancock (Unrated) [Blu-ray] – A nice twist to the typical superhero movie.

Kung Fu Panda [Blu-ray] – A funny family animated film

Get Smart –  A good remake of a classic TV show.

Vantage Point [Blu-ray] – Vantage Point overall was a great movie. Rarely can a movie keep the interest of its viewers without confusing them with all the different story angles.

The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian [Blu-ray] – Full of good visual effects and an interesting storyline.

Juno  [Blu-ray] – A movie about a quirky pregnant teen

How to Get Your Woman to Give You Oral Sex

Fellatio in 69 position
Image via Wikipedia

Every woman will have different feelings when it comes to oral sex. Some women may have had bad experiences with previous partners. Others may find it Taboo thinking the act is dirty or impure, and for others there is a fear of not adequately pleasing a man. It may be possible to get women to change their minds when it comes to oral sex.

You can’t force a woman to give oral sex just like you can’t expect every woman to like oral sex. First make sure you know how your woman feels. Sit down and openly communicate with her. Discuss her feelings on giving and receiving oral sex.

During Foreplay softly whisper the things you want to do to her and the things you want her to do to you. Pay attention to her reaction, keeping note of the things that seem to arouse her and things that don’t appear to interest her.

Don’t just give her oral sex because you think it will better your chances of receiving it. Show your woman that you truly enjoying going down on her licking her, teasing her, and tasting her. When she sees how much you enjoy pleasuring her there is a good chance she will reciprocate.
Keep up with your hygiene. Make sure you shower and bathe regularly. Don’t try to mask odors with cologne or spray. Wash your genitals with soap and body wash thoroughly. Also trim your pubic hair. No woman wants to go down on a man who hasn’t bathed in days.

If all else fails try halls extra strong cough drop candy. Each of you can put one in your mouth and slowly let them dissolve. It disguises any bad tastes that may be lingering and it also heightens nerves on the genitals heightens orgasmic sensations.

Once your woman realizes how great oral sex can be guaranteed she will want to reciprocate it.

Crazy Laws 2

In the UK it is illegal to eat minced pies on Christmas.
In Montana it is illegal to have a sheep in the cab of your truck if it doesn’t have a chaperon.
In South Caroline it is illegal to keep horses in bathtubs.
In Alabama it is illegal to stab yourself to gain someones pity.
In Alaska it is illegal to whisper in someones ear when they are moose hunting

Christmas Season Spikes Sexual Activity

The research of timing conceptions to holidays is relatively new in the united states. Since the 1930’s conceptions fluctuated seasonally greatly due to humidity, amounts of sunlight etc this still rings true for less developed countries. In developed countries many people are shielded from sunlight, heat, and humidity by working indoors, air condition and heating systems.

However according to biorhythm researchers and creators of sex products between Christmas and New Years there is an increase in sexual activity. This could be due to news year resolutions of starting a family or the extra consumption of alcohol and partying. Having Christmas sex isn’t just an American rite, having heavy Christmas and New Years sex has always been a characteristic of Christian cultures in which it has been studied says Gabriele Doblhammer.

British Researchers have gone as far as to say the Christmas and New Years period can be linked to Festivals of Fertility. Such Festivities are associated with more opportunities to socialize and
an hedonistic approach to life.

Trojan condom project manager David Johnson says there is a large peak in sales of their condoms during the Christmas season. Ironically the increase in sexual intercourse also shows itself in the U.S as a large number of births in September.

Sexy Sunday 59

calista-flockhart

Calista Flockhart

Calista Flockhart was born in Freepoint Illinois in 1964. She was raised in Iowa, Minnesota, and New York State before her and her family finally settled down in Medford New Jersey. In high school Calista was on the school council and the cheerleading squad. After high school she went to Rutgers University where she studied fine arts. After college she decided to pursue acting and got herself roles in broad-way productions like Wrong Turn at Lungfish, Sophistry, and All for One. Calista then moved to television where she appeared on numerous soap operas in little bit roles. Calista also had a job as an aerobics instructor which helped supplement her income. Calista’s first big role came in the movie BirdCage in 1996. She finally decided to audition for the cast of Ally Mcbeal and she got the lead role. She has since appeared in Milk and Money, A Midsummer Night’s Dream and Things You Can Just Tell by Looking at Her. She has an adopted son named Liam and she is currently engaged to Harrison Ford.

10 Worst Movies of 2008

The Love Guru (Two-Disc Special Edition) [Blu-ray] + Digital Copy – The only good thing about this movie is that Jessica Alba is in it. This movie is not a good comedy it is just plain silliness.

You Don’t Mess With the Zohan (Unrated + BD Live) [Blu-ray] – For an Adam Sandler film an absolute disappointment this film is not funny but instead irritating.

Cloverfield [Blu-ray] – is filmed much like the Blair witch project this film has nothing to offer but shaky camera work and a city attacking monster stupider then Godzilla.

The Ruins (Unrated Edition) – Though it looked like it was a good movie. The ruins was nothing more then a bunch of vacationers whose leisurely holiday takes a turn for the worst when they realize the plants around them are out to get them.

The House Bunny (+ BD Live) [Blu-ray] – nothing more then a blonde bimbo’s triumph over stereotypes and snobby college chicks.

Mirrors [Blu-ray] – Awful plot. If the intention was to scare people they didn’t come close.

Hottie & the Nottie – The only good thing about this is getting to look at Paris Hilton if you’re into that sort of thing. This receives a failing grade for story line and acting.

Teeth – A girl takes an abstinence pledge only to attack a bunch of horny boys with the teeth in her vagina

Meet The Spartans – Pit Of Death Edition [Blu-ray] – This is nothing but a distasteful film that is stupid not amusing

Shutter (Unrated) [Blu-ray] – from the makers of the grudge and the ring this film is nothing but a bland Asian horror film.

Jokes 12-18-08

Two blondes are working on a house. One of them, who’s nailing down siding, has been reaching into her pouch, pulling out a nail, and either tossing it over her shoulder or nailing it in. The second blonde, figuring this was worth looking into, asks, “Hey—how come you’re throwing half the nails over your shoulder?
The first blonde explains, “If I pull a nail out of my pouch and it’s pointed toward me, I throw it away because it’s defective. If it’s pointed toward the house, then I nail it in.”
“You moron!” the second blonde yells. “The nails pointed toward you aren’t defective. They’re for the other side of the house.”

A Texan, a New Yorker, and a Bostonian are sitting together in a bar in the Yukon. The Texan tosses back his shot of tequila, throws the half-full bottle up in the air, pulls out a gun, and blows it to pieces. The other two, shocked, just stare at the Texan. He explains, “Where I come from, we have plenty of tequila.”
The New Yorker, not to be outdone, finishes his glass of wine, tosses the half-full bottle up in the air, pulls out a gun, and blows it apart. “Where I come from,” he explains, “we have plenty of fine wine.”
The Boston guy slowly drinks the last drop of his beer, tosses the empty bottle in the air, pulls out a gun, and shoots the New Yorker between the eyes. He then catches the bottle on the way down. “Where I come from,” he says slowly, “we never waste booze—and we have plenty of New Yorkers.”

Q: Moms have Mother’s Day and dads have Father’s Day. What do single guys have?
A: Palm Sunday.

Two Canadians are sitting in a bar getting bored, so they decide to play twenty questions. The first Canadian tries to think of a subject for his friend to guess and, after a little pondering, comes up with “moose cock.” He tells his friend he’s ready to play.
“OK,” says the second Canadian. “Is it something good to eat?”
The first Canadian thinks for a moment, then laughs and replies, “Sure, I guess you could eat it.”
The second Canadian says, “Is it a moose cock?”

Paul tries to take his friend hunting, but when they get to his favorite hunting spot, they find “No Trespassing” signs everywhere. Paul tells his friend to wait in the car and walks up to the nearby farmhouse. The farmer answers the door, and Paul says, “Sir, I’ve hunted on this property all my life, but now I notice you have a bunch of signs up. I wanted to see if it was still OK for me to hunt here.”
The farmer scratches his chin for a bit and says, “I’ll make you a deal. We’ve got this cow out back that we have to kill for food, but we’ve grown too attached to it. If you go out back and shoot my cow, I’ll let you hunt on my property.”
Walking back to the car, Paul decides to play a joke on his friend. “That old bastard won’t let us hunt on his property,” he tells him. “I’m going to shoot his cow!” He then walks over to the side of the house and-BLAM!
Suddenly two more shots ring out behind him, and his friend runs up, yelling, “I got the cat and dog too! Let’s get the hell out of here!”

Crazy Laws 1

In the UK it is illegal to die in houses of parliament.
In France it is illegal to name a pig Napolean
In Nevada it is illegal to drive (ride) a camel on the highway.
In Louisiana it is illegal to rob a bank then shoot the teller with a water pistol.
In Indonesia the penalty for masturbation is decapitation

Porn Moves that you shouldn’t Do At Home

Deep Throat – Don’t even attempt to shove your member down your girls thought without consulting her. If she is a normal woman she may have a strong gag reflex which may result in a large mess to clean up. In most cases a woman isn’t going to love the idea of having a penis lodged down her throat. So if you are looking for a deep throated blow job talk to her first.

Not preparing for anal – Porn stars are likely lubed during breaks and have disturbingly stretched sphincters. However if you are like most people you need proper lubrication and need to go in slow.

Ass to Mouth -You have seen it a porn star moves straight from anal sex to getting a blow job. Most people don’t want to have stuff from the back door in their mouth. Also the anus can contain lots of bacteria so it’s not the healthiest. If however you decide to do this you should make sure both partners are fresh and showered.

The facial – Be considerate if you want to cum on her face, butt, or breasts ask her first. You don’t want her to have a hassle cleaning it out of her hair and it can be extremely painful to get in your eyes.

Dick Slap – Porn stars normally slap their dick on various things. A possible explanation is they are slapping it to keep it stiff. If you have trouble staying hard give yourself a couple strokes or ask your partner to help you with her mouth. Never dick slap her without due warning.

The Pile Driver – Named after a wrestling move you should get the idea that this should probably left to the porn stars. Overall this position is just going to be uncomfortable for both of you.