10 Delicious Bacon Recipes

Bacon Wrapped Shrimp with Garlic Basil Stuffing
Bacon Wrapped Shrimp with Garlic Basil Stuffing
Bacon and Cheese Roll
Bacon and Cheese Roll
 The Bacon Hamburger Fatty Melt
The Bacon Hamburger Fatty Melt
The Bacon Pig
The Bacon Pig
Cherry Port Glazed Beef Spareribs Studded with Bacon
Cherry Port Glazed Beef Spareribs Studded with Bacon
BBQ Bacon Sausage
BBQ Bacon Sausage
Bacon Cups
Bacon Cups
Bacon Candy
Bacon Candy
Bacon and Onion Cheese Buns
Bacon and Onion Cheese Buns

Beer Goggles for Women?

beer-gogglesDr Kirsten Oinonen from the University of Lakehead conducted a study to see the affect drinking alcohol would have on a woman’s ability to determine the attractiveness of the opposite sex. The findings, apparently women also have beer goggles and even when they are sober their perception could still be affected.

Dr Oinonen’s research studied young women who were considered non-alcoholic who consumed up to 40 drinks per month. Each woman was put through numerous types of tests including one that looked at the symmetry of the male face. 45 women were presented with 60 pairs of faces. One of the pairs was less symmetrical than the other and they had to pick out which one was which. Results showed that women who consumed alcohol in the previous 6 months had a lower mark on the symmetry test. Even women who consumed as little as 5 drinks per month rated lower then those who consumed no alcohol at all. The more drinks consumed the lower the score.

Dr Oinonen’s suggests that her study shows that women who consume alcohol have a harder time judging facial symmetry even when sober therefore a woman who has had alcohol may find a less attractive man more attractive.

This is the first study done to look at the issue. It isn’t known if the results are just temporary or if it would affect women permanently at this point it is hard to determine.

Jokes 01-15-09

Q. What do bungee jumping and hookers have in common?
A. They both cost a hundred bucks and if the rubber breaks, you’re screwed.

Two newlyweds go on their honeymoon. As they start getting hot and heavy, the woman says, “Please be careful with me—I’m a virgin.”
The puzzled man replies, “But you’ve been married three times before.”
“I know,” she says. “My first husband was a psychiatrist and all he wanted to do was talk about it. My second husband was a gynecologist and he just wanted to look at it. And my third husband was a stamp collector and all he wanted to do was—God, I miss him.”

Bubba and Junior were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up. A blonde walked by and asked what they were doing.
“We’re supposed to find the height of the flagpole,” Bubba said, “but we don’t have a ladder.”
The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a few bolts, and laid the pole down.
Then she took a tape measure from her pocket, took a measurement, announced, “Eighteen feet, six inches,” and walked away.
Junior shook his head and laughed. “Ain’t that just like a dumb blonde? We ask for the height, and she gives us the length.”

The owner of a drugstore walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against a wall with an odd look on his face.
The owner asks the clerk, “What’s with that guy over there by the wall?”
The clerk says, “Well, he came in here at 7 A.M. to get something for his cough. I couldn’t find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle of laxatives.”
The owner says, “You idiot! You can’t treat a cough with laxatives!”
The clerk says, “Oh yeah? Look at him—he’s afraid to cough!”

This guy’s father dies, so he goes to the undertaker and tells him he wants the best of everything for his father.
The man gets really sick the day of the funeral, however, and is unable to attend.
The next day, he gets a bill for $16,000. He pays it. The next month, he gets another bill for $85. He figures it’s just a little supplementary bill, so he pays that, too.
Next month, another bill for $85 arrives, so he calls up the undertaker and says, “I keep getting these bills for $85 dollars. I thought I paid for the funeral already.”
The undertaker says, “Well, you said you wanted the best for your father, so I rented him a tux.”

New Releases January 13, 2009

Blu-ray Disc
Image via Wikipedia

New release listings for Blu-ray and Playstation 3.

Blu-ray

Playstation 3

Money Saving Tips 1-5

Today many people are trying to find ways to cut down on their spending and increase their savings the following article is about money saving tips. A series that will be posted each week. Thank you to thesimpledollar.com for great ideas.

  1. Write a grocery list and stick to it. If you go to the grocery store without a plan you will end up overspending and buying things you don’t need. Take the time to go through your cupboards and fridge to see what items you really do need. Don’t put anything in the cart that wasn’t on your list no matter how tempting that pack of cookies or bag of chips looks.
  2. Don’t throw out damaged clothing. Fix it. If you have a shirt missing a button don’t throw it out sew a new button on with thread that closely matches. If you have a shirt with a hole sew a patch on it and use it for around the house when you are doing yard work or cleaning.
  3. For holidays and special occasions make your own gifts. There are numerous ways you can be creative you can make candles or soap sets. Bake breads and cookies or even jewellery. This not only gives you a hobby but this gives your gifts a personal touch and the effort you put in shows people just how much you care.
  4. Cut back on convenience foods and take out. There is no doubt that families today are busy but by cutting down on takeout and convenience foods most families can save a couple hundred dollars a month. Figure out what you want to have throughout the week. That weekend do the prep work. Spending an hour on the weekend can cut down the time you spend in the kitchen during the week.
  5. Give up bad habits. Smoking, Gambling, and alcohol shrink your wallet fast. Try your damndest to quit not only will your body be grateful you’ll notice all the extra money you will have. Which would be great to paying down bills or to put towards your savings.

Dumpster Donut Fingers

Oliebollen Dutch doughnuts
Image via Wikipedia

I was on my way to work one morning, oh at about 3:30am.  I work at a day to day staffing agency and we open our office at 5:00 am.  Most of  employees are homeless and transient people, which is quite interesting.  You meet so many different people, some are a little shady while others are just down on their luck.  At the time of this story I was using public transportation to get to and from work, I had no car at the time.  If your unfamiliar with taking public transit, let me just say that it really, really, really sucks.

Anyhow, as I was walking down the stairs of the train platform, I notice a slumped over body near the exit doors.  The slumped over shape had a familiar look to me and as I got closer I notice that the figure was a guy that worked for our agency as a temporary worker.  We will call him Slick.  Maybe I was not awake that morning because I usually avoid socializing with most of our staff when not in the office, but I made the biggest mistake.  I yelled “Hey Slick what the fuck are you doing passed out all the way down here.”  Well of course Slick woke up, saw me and immediately staggered to his feet to chat with me.  As it would be no surprise to anyone that knows him, Slick was still very intoxicated from drinking all night long while riding the C-train to stay warm.

When my train arrived at the station, Slick got on the Train and rode with me the with all the way to work.  The ride consists of a 20 minutes commute to downtown from the south of the city, and then a transfer to another train which takes riders into the cities North East, which is approximately another 20 minute ride.  The whole way between sneaking slips for the liquor bottle hidden in his jacket, Slick was telling me the craziest stories about drinking, smoking crack and living on the streets.  Those are other stories that I can save for another time.

Once we arrived at our final stop in the North East we both got off at the C-Train Station which happens to be very close to a Tim Horton’s coffee shop.  I stopped into the Timmy’s and picked myself up a morning coffee and a danish while Slick stayed outside and went around to the back of the store because he had to take a leak.  When  I came out with my coffee and continued on my walk to work, Slick came out from darkness, but in actuality he came out of a dumpster.  His hands were full of Donuts.  But they weren’t actually in his hands, his hands were in the donuts.  He had the donuts stuck on his fingers, a finger stuck in every donut.  Some through the holes, some were jelly filled, cream filled. You name the donut and he had his finger in it.

Slick comes up to me and ask in his drunken slur “Dave you want a Donut?”   Do I want a fucking donut???  “You have your fucking fingers in the fucking donuts. Of course I don’t want a donut.” Slick insist I have one of his dumpster donuts that are on his fingers. “Come on have a Donut?” Slick asks again. “No Slick I’m good. ” I reply.

On the 15 minute walk to my office Slick offers a few more times and I decline. Surprising enough when we get to the office Slick offers the Donuts to some people that are at the office and they accept.  The accepted Donuts that were stuck on his fingers – fingers that may not have seen soap anytime in the previous year – that came from a Dumpster.  Holy Shit! I couldn’t believe it.

Well that’s it. An adventure of mine, working at a day to day staffing agency. I will write about some more sometime. I have so many crazy stories.

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Sexy Sunday 62

avril-lavigne

Avril Lavigne

Avril lavigne was born in Napanee Ontario in 1984. She stood out from her female peers in the town of 5000 with her baseball skills in the summer and hockey skills in the winter. Soon people around town recognized her for her singing abilities. She sang in her church choir and by age 10 would sing in country music competitions. At 13 she won a radio contest which gave her the opportunity to go to Ottawa and sing with another Ontario native, Shania Twain. By high school Avril was sending away tapes of her performances to labels and management companies. Though she was met with a lot of rejection she caught the attention of Nettwerk Management. She was flown to New York to meet with some song writers and create a demo tape. Avril was signed to a contract before she could finish working on the demo. Avril moved to New York with her older brother as an escort when she failed to click with any of the NY song writers she made her next trip to Los Angeles. It was here she met Cliff Magness. The two hit it off and began working on her debut album. In 2002 Avril’s first single “Complicated” was released and began climbing the charts. In 2004 she released her second album “Under My Skin” and began dating Sum 41’s Deryck Whibley. In 2005 the two got engaged in Venice and in 2006 the couple married. In 2007 she released her third album “The Best Damn Thing” which hubby Deryck helped to produce.

Top 5 Myths about Testosterone

  1. Testosterone is Illegal. Testosterone is not an illegal drug. You can get it legally with a prescription. Testosterone is a naturally occurring hormone within the male body. This helps for changes during fetal development as well as during puberty which helps the male as he grows into an adult. Testosterone is only illegal when it is used without a prescription from a physician. However many organizations especially those involving sports have strict rules and regulations against testosterone for the chance it can affect athletic performance.
  2. Testosterone is a dangerous steroid. Yes, testosterone is a steroid. However a steroid is just a molecule made up of four rings of carbon. For example, progesterone, estrogen, cortisol etc are all steroids. Testosterone is proven to be relatively safe however the newer steroids don’t have any safety information to back up whether it’s dangerous or not.
  3. Testosterone can cause uncontrolled violent behavior. There isn’t any factual information to back up violence and a connection with testosterone. Even in men who were administered high doses of testosterone didn’t show any sign of aggression or violence they were actually mellower then guys with lower T counts.
  4. Testosterone causes prostate cancer. Evidence has conclusively shown that men with high t-count levels are at no greater risk of developing prostate cancer than those with lower t-counts.
  5. High levels of testosterone can cause baldness. In most cases men with male patterned baldness have the same or similar levels of testosterone. Baldness is more connected to genetics than testosterone levels

Jokes 01-08-09

Rosy, posing thoughtfully in the mirror, says to Nina, “I think I’m going to see a dietitian.”
Nina asks, “Why?”
Rosy answers, “‘Cause I need to know once and for all how many calories there are in semen.”
Nina replies, “I really have no clue, but if you’re swallowing that much of it, no guy is going to care if you’re a little chunky.”

A middle-aged woman wakes up in the middle of the night and finds her husband at the kitchen table drinking whiskey.
She asks, “Why are you up so late at night?”
The man takes another drink and replies, “Do you remember when you were 16 and we first started dating?”
She is amazed that he is thinking of such a thing so late at night and replies, “Yes I do, dear.”
He takes another drink and continues, “Do you remember when your dad caught us in the back seat of my car and he told me either I marry you or go to jail for 20 years? Well, today I would have gotten out!”

After a long day at work, a man realized it was his anniversary.
He raced to Victoria’s Secret and asked for the sheerest thing they had. He purchased the nightgown for $400 and raced home.
He ran inside and told his wife, “Go upstairs and put this on.” She went upstairs and opened her gift. She lifted the gown out and was stunned that it was transparent. She figured it would be just as good to just walk downstairs naked because her husband wouldn’t even notice, and she could return the gown for a refund in the morning.
As she walked down the stairs, the husband exclaimed, “Damn—for $400, you’d think they’d at least iron the damn thing!”

Mr. Smith goes to the doctor’s office to pick up his wife’s test results.
When he gets there, the nurse at the counter tells him that there is a small problem.
“We sent your wife’s blood in with another Mrs. Smith and the two tests results got mixed up. Now we don’t know which test is your wife’s and the results were bad and worse,” she says.
“Well, tell me the results for each test,” he replies.
“One test came back positive for Alzheimer’s disease and the other came back positive for AIDS,” the nurse says. “Oh my god…what am I going to do?” Mr. Smith asks.
“Oh, don’t worry, the doctor came up with an idea,” the nurse replies reassuringly. “He said to drive your wife to the middle of town and drop her off there. If she remembers her way back home, don’t fuck her.”

A pompous minister was seated next to a hillbilly on a flight across the country.
After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken. The hillbilly asked for a whiskey and soda. The flight attendant then asked the minister if he would like a drink.
He replied in disgust, “I’d rather be savagely raped by brazen whores than let liquor touch these lips.”
The hillbilly then handed his drink back to the flight attendant and said, “Shit, me too. I didn’t know we had a choice.”

Crazy Laws 4

In L.A. it is an offense to lick a toad.
In Alabama it is illegal to wear a fake mustache to church that would cause laughter.
In Hawaii it is illegal to insert pennies in your ear.
In Atlanta it is illegal to tie a giraffe to a telephone or lamp post.
In Baltimore it is illegal to take a lion to the movies.

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