Sexy Sunday 112

Leah Remini

Leah Remini is that one really loud Italian chick. She is old enough to have been on “Cheers”, yet young enough to come in at number 12 on Maxim’s top 100 sexiest women in the not to distant past (2002). She was in the movie “Old School”.

The daughter of an asbestos company owner, Remini dropped out of school at the age of 14. At the beginning of her working life, Remini had a variety of jobs, such as waitressing, selling car insurance, and as a telemarketer for a solar heating company. She landed her first speaking role on the critically acclaimed television docudrama chronicling the intricate dynamic of an intercity public school, known as “Head of the Class”. She later moved on to portray characters in other socially relevant shows and movies that tackled issues such as alcoholism (“Cheers”), suburban decline (“Saved by the Bell”), incest (“Friends”), acquaintance rape (“Old School”) and spousal abuse (“The King of Queens”)

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How To Prevent Your Partner From Cheating

Most of us at some point during a relationship are confronted with the issue of infidelity. This article has been written to help you prevent your partner from cheating.

The goal is to make your partner want you and not someone else. Here are 10 simple things that you can do which should keep your partner interested in you.

1. First and foremost you should try to trust your partner. This may of course not always be the easiest thing to do. But making your partner feel that you trust them,  gives them the signal that you are confident. A confident person is always more interesting compared to a person who isn’t.

2. Give your partner the space they need. If you let a bird fly away it is more likely to be loyal to you compared to putting it in a cage. In this situation the bird is more likely to fly back to you. However, if the bird is kept in a cage and it eventually manages to escape it is less likely to come back to you. Trying to control your partner will almost definitely lead to disaster. Give them a certain amount of freedom – but not too much. Some partners feel that an excessive amount of freedom is a sign of not caring or not being interested.

3. Whether we like it or not – we all have our insecurities. Your partner will have them too. Massage his or her ego by making compliments once in a while. The important thing though is not to over do it. If you swamp your partner with too many compliments they are either unlikely to believe you or they simply won’t accept them. Someone who has severe insecurities will struggle to accept an overload of compliments because they don’t actually believe they are worth it. In this situation your compliments could backfire. If the relationship is young, start off by giving the odd compliment here and there and monitor carefully how your partner reacts to them.

4. Don’t over do it with gifts. By overloading your partner with an excessive amount of gifts you could be sending out the signal that you are worried they may leave you if you don’t continue to buy them gifts. This could display a sign of weakness or insecurity on your part. You definately want to avoid this. Of course, surprising your partner with occasional gifts, at the right time, is the right thing to do. In fact, giving someone a present, especially if it’s an earned surprise, can often be more rewarding than receiving a present. So feel free to give your partner flowers, chocolates, nice sex toys, a weekend break away, or even a voucher for a massage, etc.  Just don’t overdo it.

5. Keep your partner intellectually stimulated. People easily get bored if their partner lacks ideas or if they are not up to date with what is happening in the world. Bring new ideas to the table – and sometimes insist on them – even if you’re partner doesn’t agree. Especially if your idea means a lot to you or if you are certain that you are right. A great way of keeping your partner intellectually stimulated is to teach them something that they could not do before. This, simply put, will make you an interesting partner to be around.

6. Make an effort to look good – this ensures that you remain attractive in the eyes of your partner. Go to the gym, do yoga, go for a swim or do some other form regular physical exercise. Please bare in mind though that simply looking good is not everything. Mental attraction carries a lot more weight in a relationship compared to physical attraction.

7. Build a healthy social life outside the relationship. The things you experience when you are around other people will bring new ideas into the relationship. If you spend every day of the week with your partner you run the risk of letting you relationship go stale. This is definitely something to avoid. Keep the relationship interesting.

8. Don’t fall into the routine trap. Some routine is definitely healthy in a relationship as it provides a certain amount of stability. Stability is without a doubt something we all need. However, too much routine sometimes can lead to boredom. Boredom can (not always) cause your partner to look elsewhere. Naturally this is something you want to avoid. It’s important to strike a healthy balance between stability and change. Some examples of change: Introduce new foods to the relationship, don’t always go to the same places on holiday, invite different people around for dinner, try a new hobby and in general – don’t be frightened to be spontaneous. Doing these things demonstrates to your partner that you are not afraid of change and it displays confidence. Confidence is definitely an attractive feature.

9. Don’t be too indecisive. Constant indecisiveness can be a sign of weakness. What you definitely don’t want is that your partner starts to make all the decisions for you. This can lead to a partner walking all over the other person. If someone starts to do that they start to take their partner for granted. This is something that you definitely want to avoid. Although a certain amount of indecisivness can on occasion be attractive as it will give your partner a chance to take the lead. The important thing here to remember is that it should not always be the same person who is in control. Control, in a healthy relationship, is very much a shared thing.

10. Finally, on a more lighthearted note – don’t forget to smile and laugh. In fact it’s very important to laugh and smile in any realtionship. Smiles and laughter will transfer to your partner – and they can draw from that, especially if they are having a bad day. Smiling and laughing also is a form of showing emotions. People who are able to show emotions display a certain amount of confidence. And that can only be a good thing.

To round of my article I would like to summarise what we have just learned. The two most important things in a relationship are Trust and Confidence. Have the confidence to occasionally show resistance. Resistance reminds your partner that you are actually there and that you form an important part in the relationship. Again, dont over do it with resistance – find a healthy dose. After having read all 10 points above – dont try to introduce them all to the relationship at once. You dont want your partner to think: “Oh, whats wrong with him/her?” Introduce them slowly, one by one. As you work your way through the list you’re confidence will start to grow automatically – because you will start to see signs of success and you will get the feeling that you have achieved something.

Sexy Sunday 111

Winona Ryder

Ranked Number 42 on Empire magazine’s Top 100 Movie Stars of All Time, in 1997, and one of People magazine’s 50 Most Beautiful People, that same year, Winona Ryder is a two-time Academy Award nominated actress. However, despite her impressive film career, Winona’s personal life has eclipsed it in terms of notoriety. She’s perhaps best known for having dated Johnny Depp. He bears an infamous tattoo on his arm that once read “Winona Forever,” but now reads “Wino Forever.” More recently, she made international headlines for shoplifting in Beverly Hills.

Winona Ryder was named after the town in which she was born: Winona, Minnesota. Her parents quickly moved to Northern California, where she was raised in a home without electricity. Her parents are hippies, and were good friends with famed Beat poet Allen Ginsberg and LSD pioneer Timothy Leary. Leary is actually Winona’s Godfather. It would seem that pretty much made it impossible for her parents to lay down any rules while she was growing up.

Winona went to acting school in San Francisco, and landed her first part in 1986’s Lucas. The late ‘80s saw Winona enjoy a meteoric rise in success. She starred in Tim Burton’s Beetle Juice (1988) and Edward Scissorhands (1990) as well as in Heathers (1989), all of which gave her an edgy, dark persona. Edward Scissorhands is also where Winona met Johnny Depp, and began her famous relationship with him. Over the course of the ‘90s, Winona’s career continued to soar with roles in Dracula (1992), Reality Bites (1994), Little Women (1994), Alien: Resurrection (1997), and Girl, Interrupted (1999).

Winona took a self-imposed hiatus from acting in the early 2000s following her being caught for shoplifting in a Beverly Hills department store. It seems that poor Winona was too embarrassed to show her face in public, despite the outpouring of support (including those every-so-classy “Free Winona” t-shirts). 2006’s A Scanner Darkly welcomed Winona back from her five-year exile. She then signed onoto a slew of projects, including a supporting role _ as Spock’s mother, if you can believe _ in J.J. Abrams’ wacky 2009 deconstruction of Star Trek.

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Protect Your Heart and Live to 100 Tips 91-100

91. Swallow phytosterols and phytostanols: These substances are derived from pine trees. They can lower your bad cholesterol levels by 10-15%.

92. Buy OJ fortified with calcium: Increasing your calcium intake can reduce your blood pressure. The vitamin C will also lower your risk of dying from heart disease up to 40%.

93. Eat pumpkin seeds: One ounce of these seeds contain 1/3 of your daily magnesium intake. Having a magnesium deficieny can increase your risk of heart disease, high blood pressure, and increase the build up of plaque and elevate your cholesterol levels. 

94. Get pricked: Taking part in acupuncture can trigger endorphins which help relax the heart.

95. Change your oil: By replacing corn or vegetable oil with sesame seed oil can lower your blood pressure by 30 points in 60 days.

96. Get a massage: Getting a massage can help to relieve stress and reduce inflammation.

97. Pick the can: Some canned vegetables were found to have 40% higher levels of antioxidants to fight heart disease then some fresh vegetables.

98. Eat red licorice: A compound found in licorice has been shown to spike blood pressure. This is especially true in men who eat black licorice. Fruit flavoured licorice however doesn’t contain this compound.

99. Be a vegetarian every now and then: By eating lentils, tofu, nuts and beans each day for a month you can lower bad cholesterol levels by up to 30%.

100. Use these tips: Take 10 of these tips and try to incorporate them into your daily living for a month. Soon they will become natural and you can add another 10. Follow this tips and you will be on the road to taking care of you and your heart.

Getting Beyond “He Said/She Said”

The term, “He said/she said” is often heard in the unfortunate case of rape.  In this situation the term applies to the fact that when there is little factual evidence on which to base a decision the jury is left trying to determine who’s story they believe and the case becomes one of her word against his.  These cases perhaps illustrate the problems regarding he said/she said that couples are faced with in a relationship.  Beyond the fact that in a rape case one or both of the parties may not be telling the truth, exists the underlying problem that men and women think and process information differently. The differences between men and women include differences in thought process, sensitivity, memory, and communication.  A successful relationship is one that recognizes the difference between men and women and is able to get beyond the he said/she said scenarios.

Men and women have a different thought process when it comes to solving problems.  While both sexes are capable of solving problems equally well the thought process involved in coming to a resolution varies between men and women.  For men a problem is an opportunity for them to demonstrate their problem solving skills in a quick and efficient manner.  Men see having the problem solved as the ultimate goal and they believe that the best solution is the one that is quickest and most efficient.  Women on the other hand see a problem as an opportunity to work together and reach a resolution.  Women relish the chance to communicate about the problem and the act of working together to solve the problem is more important than actually solving the problem.  Women may feel closer to their partner, even if the problem still exists, if she feels that the resolution process drew them closer together.  Understanding that women and men view the problem solving process differently will help a relationship to prosper.

Sensitivity is another area where men and women differ.  Women have a heightened sense of sensitivity relative to men.  This heightened sensitivity results in women being more prone to act on their emotions rather than on rational thought.  A woman’s sensitivity allows her to understand her own feelings as well as those of others better so her reactions tend to take feelings into consideration above logic.  However, men do not have the same level of sensitivity and therefore are more likely to make their decisions based solely on logic and not take feelings and emotions into consideration.  This disparity can result in problems during a relationship because the woman assumes that the man intentionally tried to hurt their feelings if they make a decision that has this effect while the man may grow frustrated if he believes the woman made an irrational decision.  Realizing that this difference exists will help a couple go get beyond he said/she said.

Men and Women also differ in terms of memory.  Men have a memory that is stronger in situations where they can recall the details of an event by making an association with something concrete such as a location or item.  For example men are more apt to remember an event that took place in a location that they are able to visualize well.  Women on the other hand have a memory that is stronger when they are able to associate the emotions felt with that memory to other memories where they had similar emotions.  This type of memory is especially problematic because when I women becomes angry with her partner, she is often able to recall other situations where he has angered her.  Unless the difference in memory is recognized it can become a source of frustration in a relationship when the man and woman don’t understand why their partner doesn’t remember something that is so vivid to them.

Men and Women also often have different communication styles which can complicate a relationship.  Men tend to be more introspective about their problems and choose to deal with them internally and without discussing them with their partner.  When they do decide to discuss a problem it’s usually after much thought and careful consideration.  Women on the other hand enjoy conversing about their problems with their partner and believe that doing so helps them to understand their problem better and come to a solution more easily.  Women often use communication as a method for reaching a conclusion.  They view the discussion as a way to figure out a solution.  The he said/she said aspects of communications must be understood to avoid frustration and disappointment in a relationship.

Men and women have different styles when it comes to problem solving, sensitivity, memory and communication in a relationship.  Careful observance and understanding of these differences is necessary for a relationship to flourish.  Understanding these he said/she said principals and being willing to get beyond them will help to minimize difficulties in a relationship in regards to gender differences.

Become More Healthy Tips 91-100

91. If you are worried about trans-fat in peanut butter there’s good news. A study done on popular brands like Skippy, JIF, Peter Pan and a supermarket brand found that they had less then 0.5 grams low enough for them to legally claim zero trans fat. They also contained only 1 gram more of sugar than natural brands.

92. Exercising won’t cause you to overeat. Exercise is actually good for curbing your appetite.

93. When exercising or doing anything you shouldn’t wait until your thirsty to take a drink. When you are thirsty that means you are already dehydrated. Before you exercise try to drink at least 16 oz of fluids like water or sports drinks depending on how vigorous your activity will be. Drink another 8 ounces an hour before and then drink 4-8 ounces every 15-20 minutes of your workout.

94. Listen to a book on tape or your I pod to make your workout go faster.

95. Participate in Yoga. You might think its to easy and peaceful but you’ll be surprised. In some forms of Yoga you can burn 250-350 calories in an hour session. Not only will you burn calories but you’ll improve your flexibility and increase your muscular strength.

96. Drink plenty of water. It’s not how much you drink but how often you drink. Not getting enough water can slow your metabolism by up to 3 %. Drinking small amounts throughout the day is better then taking in one large amount.

97. Meet with a dietician to become more informed about food choices and to get answers to any questions you may have.

98. Drop weight at church support groups. Researchers found that diet and exercise programs set up in churches help people lose an average of 20lbs that’s because there is a built in community where people can feel comfortable.

99. Try to avoid stress. A study found that people who were stressed and had high blood pressure were twice as likely to eat fatty foods than people who aren’t stressed or who are controlling their stress.

100. Join an online weight loss group. A study done found people who joined an online support group lost 5 1/2 more pounds then those who didn’t have any online support. Many of these online weight loss programs have counsellors who can provide feedback, answer questions and give support.

How to Forgive AND Forget

We have heard the saying many times that, “It’s easier to forgive than to forget,” but the truth is that unless you are capable of forgetting you never really forgive.  Forgiveness is the act of excusing someone for their offense but unless you are also willing to forget their transgression you aren’t truly forgiving them.  Refusing to forget a wrong action against you results in a lingering grudge between you and the other person.  Although you may have told them that you have forgiven them, the memory of their actions remains with you and creates a prejudice towards them that results in a lack of trust in the future.  True forgiveness involves both forgiving and forgetting and this can be achieved by understanding your own feelings as well as those of the person who wronged you, expressing your feelings in a rational matter, realizing that your relationship is more important than being right and finally accepting your partner’s apology.

You may have been wronged in a situation and your feelings of anger may be completely justified but it’s important to truly understand your feelings in order to forgive and forget.  It is imperative that you realize that the actions of the other person may have hurt you or made you angry but that reacting in a hostile manner as a result of these feelings is not beneficial to your relationship.  While your feelings of hurt of anger may be justified, taking the time to work through these emotions before offering forgiveness will help you to forget your partner’s words or actions.  If you rush to offer forgiveness before you have had the opportunity to vent your own frustrations it will be difficult for you to forget your partner’s wrongdoing.  You also need to understand the feelings of the person who offended you.  It is also important to speak to your partner about why they committed the offense against you.  It is not fair to them to make assumptions about why they acted the way they did.  Giving them the chance to express their side of the situation will give you a better understand of why they acted the way they did.  You may learn that everything was a misunderstanding or that you were not hurt intentionally.  Allowing the other person a chance to offer their take on the situation will enable you to see their motives.  Understanding your own emotions as well as your partner’s will help you to really forgive and forget.

Dealing with your own emotions in a calm and rational manner is also crucial to forgiving and forgetting.  Your partner may be wrong and you may be completely justified in your feelings of anger but it’s important that you not act strictly on emotion in this situation.  Acting and speaking out of anger can elevate the tension in the situation and deter the forgiveness process.  Give yourself a little time to manage your own feelings and collect your thoughts so that when you approach your partner you are able to speak about your feelings in a rational manner.  It’s best to wait until both you and your partner are ready to speak about the conflict in a calm and rational manner.  If you are truly interested in forgiving and forgetting when you have been wronged, wait until both parties have calmed down to ensure that neither one speaks out of anger and destroys the chance for true forgiveness.

A crucial aspect of forgiving and forgetting is valuing your relationship more than you value being right in an argument.  While you may be completely right in a situation, being right is not worth destroying the relationship over.  If you are able to put your love for your partner ahead of the vindication of being right you will be more willing to forgive and forget.  Also, forgiving and forgetting will allow your relationship to continue to flourish because working through conflicts makes a relationship stronger.

Finally you can never really forgive and forget unless you are truly willing to accept your partner’s apology.  Harboring feelings that the apology isn’t genuine will damage the relationship because you will never forget their offending action.  Listen sincerely to your partner’s apology and have faith in them that there apology is heartfelt and genuine.  Then let them know that you accept their apology and are willing to not let this situation interfere with your future interactions.

True forgiveness involves not only excusing the transgression but also effectively forgetting it as well.  You can not truly forgive someone if you don’t also agree to forget the offense.  Refusing to forget indicates a lack of trust in your partner to not repeat the offense.  While deciding to forgive and forget is a personal matter a few suggestions for doing so are to understand your feelings as well as the feelings of your partner, taking the time to rationalize your emotions before you act on them, valuing your relationship enough to truly forgive and accepting  your partner’s apology with an open heart.

Protect Your Heart and Live to 100 Tips 81-90

81. Add Vitamin E: Vitamin E combined with blood thinners can reduce the plaque in your arteries by up to 80%.

82. Beat the heat with cold grapes: Eating cold grapes can provide you with artery protection similar to when you drink a glass of wine.

83. Ditch fad diets: When your weight fluctuates it weakens your heart and and affects your blood flow.

84. Make friends at work: Men with lots of friends have lower heart rates and had healthier blood pressure even in times of stress.

85. Cheaters never prosper: Having extramarital sex increases your risk of a fatal heart attack. 75% of cases of death during sex involved a cheating spouse.

86. Use the free BP test wisely: These test aren’t 100% accurate. On average the machines can be off by up to 8 points systolic and 4 points diastolic. Check your blood pressure at least 3 times and then average it.

87. Eat fresh berries: Berries are loaded with salicyclic the same heart disease fighter is found in aspirin.

88. Tune out stress: Listen to music in the morning or do something that isn’t stressful to reduce your chance of a morning coronary.

89. Root for your home team: A study done found that heart attack rates fell among locals when the home team one.

90. Stop Snoring: Those who suffer from sleep apnea usually suffer from high blood pressure.

How to Fight Fairly

In any relationship worth having conflict is bound to arise.  The true test of the relationship is whether or not you feel that it is worthwhile to resolve these conflicts and if you are able to do so in a fair and objective way.  Key elements to fighting fairly include sticking to the issue at hand, being open to listening to the other person, not involving others in the fight, not bringing up old issues and finally being willing to accept responsibility and let it go when the fight is over.

It’s important to know what you are fighting over and to stick to that issue in the argument.  If you allow things to build up over time and then explode with many grievances at once neither you nor the person you are fighting with will have a clear understanding of what the issue is or why you are fighting.  It is important to address each issue as they arise to alleviate resentment and fighting that does not have a clear focus.  Sticking to one specific issue in a fight is the fair way to fight and it’s also the most successful way to fight.  If both parties involved have a clear understanding of why they are fighting you are much more likely to reach a mutually amicable resolution.

Listening is a very important component of fighting fairly.  It is imperative to allow the other person to offer their side of the argument.  Fighting without listening will not be effective because it does not allow you to be open to the other person’s opinions and justifications.  The other person may have a very valid reason for their actions but if you are only interested in what you have to say and are unwilling to listen you will not hear their point of view.  Another aspect of listening is to really understand what the other person is saying.  It’s very easy to not hear the intent of a person’s message.  In a fight you want to actively clarify the other person’s statements and give them the opportunity to affirm or negate your interpretation of their argument.  Listening attentively and understanding the other person’s argument is a very effective and fair way to fight.

Bringing others into a fight is not a fair way to fight.  It is important that the fight take place between those directly involved and that neither party elicits the help of friends or family members to validate their position.  It doesn’t matter how many other people agree with you, that does not necessarily make you right, so don’t involve others in your fight.  This is not only not fair to your partner but it is also not fair to those who are dragged into the argument.  While you may have many people who agree with you and believe you are right, bringing them into the fight just isn’t fair and also isn’t effective.

In a fair fight it is also important to not bring up old issues.  A fair fight will remain focused and bringing up the past distracts from the current issues and also sends the message that the past has not been forgotten.  If you partner feels that you are bringing up old issues, he may begin to feel as if the current fight is not worth fighting because it will not be forgotten.  If you convey the message that you are not willing to forgive and forget you are not fighting fairly because your partner will feel as though the argument is no longer worthwhile.  Also, bringing up old issues is not fair because they are not relevant to the current fight.  A fair fight is clearly focused on a current conflict without dredging up old issues.

Another key tactic for fighting fairly is to be willing to accept responsibilities for your own actions and be willing to reach a resolution and move on from the argument.  Those who fight fairly are prepared to concede the fact that they may lose the argument.  Losing the argument means either that you admit that you were solely to blame in the situation or that you are unable to convince the other person of your argument.  What is important in a fair fight is not who is right or who is wrong but that the couple is able to reach an amicable agreement and that they are both able to progress and leave the fight in the past.

Fighting fairly is crucial in a healthy relationship.  Disagreements are natural and resolving them in a fair way is imperative to a thriving relationship.  Not fighting fairly is indicative of a relationship that is not healthy.  A fair fight however incorporates the key elements of focus, listening and resolution without involving third parties in the fight.  A fair fight is also left in the past after resolution.  Fair fighting leads to resolution in most cases.

Sexy Sunday 110

Bjork

Born in Reykjavik, Iceland, Bjork was involved in music from an early releasing an album at the age of 11. She quickly bored of classical music studies and jumped in and out of punk bands through her teens, before joining the well-regarded underground bands KUKL and later the Sugarcubes in the 80s.

Bjork’s unique voice, charismatic presence, and interest in other music eventually led her to go solo in 1993 with her aptly titled album, Debut. That album and the ones that followed quickly established her as a critical darling and a multi-million selling artist with a growing cult of rabid fans.

Bjork dated other up-and-coming musicians such as drum’n’basshead Goldie and Tricky of Massive Attack and dabbled in acting, starring in controversial director Lars van Trier’s “Dancer In the Dark”, for which she won a Best Actress award at the Sundance Film Festival and a song nomination at the Oscars, the show of which was mostly remembered for her unique swan dress (lighten up, everybody!).

While releasing more albums and continuing to tour, Bjork recently had a daughter with current BF, artist Matthew Barney.

Bjork is also known for two incidents where she attacked nosey reporters trying to get all up in her business.

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