Fixed My Computer

After going through a virus attack,
Losing a hard drive,
Fighting off hackers,
Upgrading all my software,
Installing fire-walls,
Being threatened with being cut-off by my email provider,
And a host of other problems…

I have fixed my computer…

And NOW it works exactly the way I want it to!

25 More One Liners

  1. Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.
  2. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea… does that mean that one enjoys it?
  3. Some people are like Slinkies … not really good for anything, but you can’t help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.
  4. How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
  5. Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?
  6. A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don’t need it.
  7. Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
  8. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
  9. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
  10. A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
  11. I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with “Guess” on it…so I said “Implants?”
  12. Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
  13. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
  14. The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!
  15. Good girls are bad girls that never get caught.
  16. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
  17. Laugh at your problems, everybody else does.
  18. The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
  19. Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says “If an emergency, notify:” I put “DOCTOR”. What’s my mother going to do?
  20. He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame.
  21. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
  22. I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
  23. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
  24. God must love stupid people. He made SO many.
  25. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

Peanut Butter Cookies

Servings: 54

1 1/4 cup creamy peanut butter
1 cup margarine
3/4 cup white sugar
3/4 cup packed brown sugar
2 eggs
1/2 tsp vanilla extract
2 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp baking soda

Directions:

Preheat oven to 375 F.

Cream together first four ingredients. Add eggs and vanilla. In another bowl mix flour, baking powder and baking soda. Mix into the peanut butter mixture. Form small balls and place them 2 inches apart onto baking sheets. Use a fork and gently flatten.

Bake for 12-15 minutes until cookies are lightly brown. Allow cookies to cool for at least 5 minutes before removing.

Safe Driving Tips when its Raining

GOOD VISION  IN A DOWNPOUR

How to achieve good vision  while driving during a heavy downpour.  We are not  sure why it is so effective;  just try this method  when it rains heavily. This method was told by  a Police friend who had experienced and confirmed  it. It is useful…even driving at night.  Most of the  motorists would turn on HIGH or FASTEST SPEED. Of the wipers during heavy downpour, yet the  visibility in front of the windshield is still  bad…… In the event you face such a  situation, just put on your SUN GLASSES  (any model  will do), and miracle! All of a  sudden, your visibility in front of your  windshield is perfectly clear, as if there is no  rain. Make sure you always have a pair of SUN  GLASSES in your car. You are not  only helping yourself to drive safely with good  vision, but also might save your friend’s life by  giving him this idea..

Try it yourself and  share it with your friends!???
Amazing, you  still see the drops on the windshield, but not the  sheet of rain falling.? You can see where the  rain bounces off the road. It works to eliminate  the “blindness” from passing cars. Or the “kickup”  if you are following a car in the rain. They ought to  teach this little tip in driver’s training.. It  really does work.

This is a good warning.  I wonder how many people knew about this.

Another good  tip:
A 36 year old  female had an accident several weeks ago. She was  traveling between Gladewater & Kilgore. It was  raining, though not excessively and her car  suddenly began to hydro-plane and literally flew  through the air. She was not seriously injured but  very stunned at the sudden occurrence! When she  explained to the highway patrolman what had  happened.
He told her something that every  driver should know – NEVER DRIVE IN  THE RAIN WITH YOUR CRUISE CONTROL ON  . She thought  she was being cautious by setting the cruise  control and maintaining a safe consistent speed in  the rain..
But the highway patrolman told her  that if the cruise control is on, your car will  begin to hydro-plane when the tires lose contact  with the pavement, and your car will accelerate to  a higher rate of speed making you take off like an  airplane. She told the patrolman that was exactly  what had occurred. The patrolman said this  warning should be listed, on the driver’s’  seat sun-visor – NEVER USETHE  CRUISE CONTROL WHEN THE PAVEMENT IS WET OR ICY, along with  the airbag warning. We tell our teenagers to set  the cruise control and drive a safe speed – but we  don’t tell them to use the cruise control only  when the pavement is dry.

The only person  the accident victim found, who knew this (besides  the patrolman), was a man who had a similar  accident, totaled his car and sustained severe  injuries.

NOTE: Some vehicles (like the  Toyota Sienna Limited XLE) will not allow you to  set the cruise control when the windshield wipers  are on.

85 Penis Size “Facts”

After all this, you must be more than ready for the penis size “facts”. Note: When it says “men” or “women” then that is what it says, otherwise it would say “all men” or “all women”. So think about this before making a comment. There are exceptions to everything in life… Enjoy!

1. If you are a woman and you don’t prefer bigger than average penises, then you are… an exception.

2. Women prefer bigger penises more than men prefer bigger breasts.

3. The average penis measures 6 to 7 inch long and 5 to 5 ½ inch in circumference (about 1 ¾ inch wide).

4. When you think you have a small penis, you are generally right.

5. Shorter and thinner than average flaccid penises are averagely shorter and thinner when erect than average erect penises. (Does that make any sense?)

6. Penis size is not just a locker room issue.

7. Women care about the size of flaccid penises.

8. Women love touching and looking at big flaccid penises.

9. Women love touching and looking at big erect penises.

10. Women love giving oral sex to big penises, if they are able to of course.

11. Big penises cause more vaginal pleasure for women.

12. What about this: Twenty percent of all women stay with a man for his big penis…

13. forty percent stay with a man for his money…

14. forty percent stay with a man because of who he is…

15. …eighty percent would like their partner to have a bigger penis!

16. …eighty percent of women don’t orgasm from intercourse alone!

17. …eighty percent of men have an average or small penis!

18. If your penis slips out often during intercourse, you probably have a small penis.

19. Women find small penises frustrating.

20. Women find small penises annoying.

21. Women find small penises boring.

22. Women find small penises embarrassing.

23. Women look for bulge when meeting men.

24. Women look up to men with big penises.

25. Women find big penises impressive.

26. Women consider men with big penises more masculine.

27. Men with big penises are more self secure.

28. Women prefer men who are self secure.

29. Most women consider men with a big penis a sex object.

30. Most men don’t mind to be considered a sex object by women.

31. Women pretend they want a sensual and sensitive man no matter his size.

32. Women know they want a macho and masculine man with big penis size.

33. Women want to sleep at least once in their life with a man with a very big penis.

34. Men with bigger penises date more women than men with smaller penises.

35. Men with a big penis have more chance to have sex with two or more women at the same time.

36. Women brag to other women if their partner has a big penis.

37. Women have more patience when it comes to well hung guys.

38. Men with a big penis get dumped less by their girlfriend than men with a small penis.

39. Most women are sexually very active with different partners between the age of 17 and 21.

40. Most women have had many more sexual partners than they are telling you.

41. Consequently, the probability that a man’s new date has seen a bigger penis than his is very high.

42. If a woman doesn’t make a comment about a man’s penis it means she is not impressed, …or worse.

43. Women make favorable comments when they discover their new mate has a big penis.

44. If you haven’t heard any great comments about your penis size when having sex the first time with a woman, you don’t have a big penis.

45. If you have never heard a complaint about your penis being too small, it might be because the complaint was muted while pronounced.

46. Asking a woman if she thinks your penis is big is useless.

47. If a woman tells you your penis is nice, it means usually it is rather small.

48. If a woman tells you your penis is big, it means usually it is plain average.

49. If a woman tells you your penis is so huuuuge, it usually means it is just big.

50. If a woman lowers your pants, utters a shriek, takes off her clothes and hugs your penis, it usually means you are too big.

51. However, if a woman lowers your pants, utters a shriek, puts her clothes back on and leaves, it usually means you are too small.

52. Women don’t tell you that you are average. They will tell you that you are big, the rest is small and very few are humongous.

53. If your girlfriend’s previous lover was above average thick, she will not feel you inside if you are below average thick.

54. If your girlfriend’s previous lover was way above average thick, she will not feel you inside if you are average thick.

55. Most vaginas prefer thick penises.

56. Most penises prefer tight vaginas.

57. If your woman purposely squeezes her vagina very tight during intercourse, she wants to make you feel big.

58. Women have to strain themselves to get off on a thinner than average penis.

59. Men with a short penis have to work harder to give pleasure to a woman.

60. Men with a long penis have to work less hard during intercourse.

61. Men with a long penis have more fun during intercourse.

62. Men with a long penis cause more fun during intercourse.

63. Men with a long and thick penis cause the most fun during intercourse.

64. Women consider a penis between 7 and 8 inch in length and between 6 and 6 1/2 inch girth ideal.

65. Women whose partner is smaller than average, wish sometimes he would wear a big strap-on.

66. A big strap-on causes less pleasure than a real penis of the same size.

67. Women whose partner is larger than average never think of him wearing a strap-on.

68. Men with small penises masturbate more often.

69. Over-masturbating causes your penis to shrink by eventually depleting your sexual energy.

70. Men with small penises are getting masturbated more often than getting laid.

71. Not using your penis by getting laid might cause it to shrink as well.

72. If a woman publicly says that size doesn’t matter, it is often because she is with a small penis guy.

73. Women who believe size is a non-issue tend to be more spiritual than sexual.

74. Women who believe size is a non-issue tend to be more insecure and are looking for long-term relations.

75. Women who believe size is a non-issue care less about sex to begin with.

76. Women who believe size is a non-issue usually want flowers, candies and long walks under the moonlight instead of wild sex.

77. Women who believe size is a non-issue only want to make love.

78. Normal women want to make love on some days and have sex on the other ones.

79. Making love is spiritual…, having sex is physical attraction, size and technique.

80. Men with a big penis can be just as good or bad in technique as smaller endowed men.

81. If a smaller endowed man has great technique, it might be because he doesn’t have much choice.

82. Most women who always prefer receiving oral sex to penetration, do so because of either mental or physical causes.

83. In general, women prefer vaginal penetration above oral stimulation.

84. The main reason some women feel pain from penetration by a large penis is that the guy rushes without waiting for the vagina to be expanded.

85. Other reasons a woman can feel pain from penetration by a large penis is that she is not relaxed enough or that the guy has bad technique.

All right…,

Linking Sexual Abuse to Mental Health Problems

A big obstacle to recovery is that often survivors of child sexual abuse (CSA) do not know that the problems they have are related to past experiences of CSA. In fact, in my research 60% of the participants did not link their mental health problems to their history of sexual abuse. They were completely unaware of the significant impact sexual abuse had in their emotional, physical, and mental life.

Instead they thought something is wrong with them and with their way of thinking. They became angry and frustrated with themselves for being depressed without obvious reasons, having anxiety attacks that don’t make any sense, and for being ‘utterly defective’. What some professionals easily overlook is that the ‘average’ person does not link her/his emotional state today to experiences they had 30 years ago and which they might have partly forgotten.

When health professionals do not take a thorough personal history and ask if the person has experienced any forms of abuse, survivors will not know the right questions to ask that give them access to the help they need. More often than not they don’t really know what they might need. Their lack of understanding the origins of their problems was compounded when they approached public mental health services’ for help. Research has shown that public mental health services don’t always inquire about a person’s history of sexual, physical, or emotional abuse.

This invisibility of sexual abuse is a tragedy. Without understanding the link between sexual abuse and psychiatric disturbances, survivors end up blaming themselves for being weak, stupid, crazy, unlovable, defective, and many other negative characteristics. Often enough it leads to self-hate and self-harming behaviours that in turn re-enforce negative self perception. Survivors’ mental health spirals downwards and recovery is seriously hindered. They might spend years and years in mental health care without little or no improvement.

The invisibility of CSA in society and in mental health settings combined with survivors’ childhood conditioning of being silenced, their coping strategies of avoidance and dissociation, family’s and friends’ limits of knowing how to deal with survivors’ pain and disorganised life, and the inability to link the problems survivors have to their experiences of abuse prevent people not only from being effective in seeking professional help but also from themselves from future emotional, physical, or sexual harm.

Sexual abuse harms a person in many different ways. How deeply a person is affected by sexual abuse depends on a number of variants. In general we can say that the impacts of abuse depends on the age of the child, the relationship between child and perpetrator, the frequency, the duration, the severity, the presence of threats, and the availability of support and care. Most survivors who seek help struggle with cognitive contamination, impaired social functioning, impaired memory processing, negative self-relations and identity, learned helplessness, physical health problems i.e. irritable bowl syndrome, sleep disturbances, disordered eating, mood disturbances, abuse of drugs and alcohol, to name just the most obvious.

Although the above mentioned symptoms are not always due to sexual abuse, it may be useful to ask yourself, whether any forms of sexual abuse, physical abuse, emotional abuse, or neglect have occurred. When you have been abused and you can make the link to your problems, you can start dealing with the abuse and begin your journey of recovery.

Gudrun Frerichs, PhD is the director and founder of Psychological Resolutions Ltd. Gudrun has worked for the last 20 years as trainer, researcher, and psychotherapist in private practice. She specialises in assisting survivors of sexual abuse in their recovery. Her passion is giving survivors a voice and raising awareness of the horrendous damage caused by sexual abuse. People are invited to contribute to her monthly Blog Carnival “Recovery from Sexual Abuse” by following the link http://recoveryfromsexualabuse.blogspot.com/

Dr. Frerichs has researched the impact of interpersonal trauma on people and looked specifically at the recovery from Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) in (2000) and investigated how services shape the recovery from sexual abuse (2007). More information about her research can be accessed on http://www.multiplevoices.com.

Author: Gudrun Frerichs
Article Source: EzineArticles.com
Provided by: WordPress plugin Guest Blogger

The New Doctor

I went to the doctor the other day and found out my new doctor is a young female,and drop-dead gorgeous!

I was embarrassed, but she said, “Don’t worry, I’m a professional – I’ve seen it all before. Just tell me what’s wrong and I’ll help you in any way I can.”

I said,

“I’m not sure, but I think my penis tastes funny…”

The Importance of Mental Health

What is mental health?

Though no concise definition exists, mental health is basically your attitude and approach to life. Psychological, environmental, genetic, or physiological factors have a profound effect on overall mental development.

What is mental illness?

Mental illness impairs your ability to perform routine tasks, foster healthy relationships, or cope with anger or stress. It may be classified on the basis of extreme mood swings, irrational or destructive thought patterns, and behavioral problems.

How important is mental health?

Your mental health has a huge impact on every aspect of your life.

o Self-image

Good mental health means appreciating your achievements and accepting your shortcomings. A mental illness can cause an inferiority complex, a negative body image, and intense feelings of self-hate, anger, disgust, and uselessness, which could mutate into extreme depression, psycho-social disorders, or eating disorders.

o Education

Students with mental problems socially isolate themselves, and develop anxiety disorders and concentration problems. Good mental health ensures an all-round educational experience that enhances social and intellectual skills that lead to self-confidence and better grades.

o Relationships

Mental health largely contributes to the functioning of human relationships. Mental illness can hamper even basic interactions with family, friends, and colleagues. Most people suffering from mental illness find it difficult to nurture relationships, have problems with commitment or intimacy, and frequently encounter sexual health issues.

o Sleep

An inability to handle stress or anxiety can cause insomnia. Even if you mange to fall asleep, you may wake up a dozen times during the night with thoughts of what went wrong the day before or how bad tomorrow is going to be. You may develop severe sleeping disorders which leave you exhausted and less productive.

o Eating

People with mental disorders are more prone to indulging in comfort eating or emotional binges. Finding comfort in food is something we all do from time to time. But with a mental illness, it becomes difficult to control yourself. Overeating can lead to obesity, which puts you at a risk for heart disease and diabetes, in addition to creating an unhealthy body-image.

o Physical health

Your mental state directly affects your body. For example, stress can lead to hypertension or stomach ulcers. People who are mentally healthy are at a lower risk for many health complications.

So make a conscious effort to improve and maintain your mental health.

Good health is not a struggle, nor it is an extraordinary feat. Healthy living is about understanding what your body needs and what is good for it. Re-discover good health in a simple way with Tania Hackner and make good health a way of living!.For more information and advice on mental health please visit us at http://www.whatyouneedtoknow.co.in

Author: Tania Hackner
Article Source: EzineArticles.com
Provided by: Guest blogger

The good old days

“When I was a boy, my Momma would send me down to the corner store
with a dollar, and I’d come back with five pounds of potatoes, two loaves of bread,
three pints of milk, a pound of cheese, a box of tea, and a half a dozen eggs.

You can’t do that now.

Too many fuckin’ security cameras.”

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