1. Only in Canada……can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
2. Only in Canada...…are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
3. Only in Canada……do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
4. Only in Canada…..do people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
5. Only in Canada……do banks leave the doors to the vault open and then chain the pens to the counters.
6. Only in Canada……do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
7. Only in Canada……do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won’t miss a call from someone we didn’t want to talk to in the first place.
8. Only in Canada……do we buy hot dogs in packages of twelve and buns in packages of eight.
9. Only in Canada…..do we use the word ‘politics’ to describe the process so well: ‘Poli’ in Latin meaning ‘many’ and ‘tics’ meaning ‘bloodsucking creatures’.
10. Only in Canada……do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
You know you’re from Canada when …
1. You only know three spices: salt, pepper and ketchup.
2. You design your Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
3. The mosquitoes have landing lights.
4. You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.
5. You have 10 favorite recipes for moose meat.
6. Canadian Tire on any Saturday is busier than the toy stores at Christmas.
7. You live in a house that has no front step, yet the door is one meter above the ground.
8. You’ve taken your kids trick-or-treating in a blizzard.
9. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled in with snow.
10. You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and a flannel nightie with only 8 buttons.
11. You owe more money on your snowmobile than your car.
12. The local paper covers national and international headlines on 2 pages, but requires 6 pages for hockey.
13. At least twice a year, the kitchen doubles as a meat processing plant.
14. The most effective mosquito repellent is a shotgun.
15. Your snow blower gets stuck on the roof.
16. You think the start of deer season is a national holiday.
17. You head south to go to your cottage.
18. You frequently clean grease off your barbecue so the bears won’t prowl on your deck.
19. You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
20. The major parish fund-raiser isn’t bingo it’s sausage making.
21. You find -40C a little chilly.
22. The trunk of your car doubles as a deep freeze.
23. You attend a formal event in your best clothes, your finest Jewellery and your Sorrels.
24. You can play road hockey on skates.
25. You know 4 seasons: Winter, Still Winter, almost Winter and Construction.
26. The municipality buys a Zamboni before a bus.
27. You understand the Labatt Blue commercials.
28. You perk up when you hear the theme from “Hockey Night in Canada”.
29. You actually get these jokes and forward them to all your Canadian friends.
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Comments
12 responses to “Only In Canada”
8. You’ve taken your kids trick-or-treating in a blizzard.
You must be stupid, it doesn’t snow in October, retard.
ever been up north?
it’s snowed in alberta in june too btw.
Check out this post. Proof that it really do snow in October.
http://malewail.com/snow-in-october/
@Soar…
Keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them!
For the record, I have, as a kid, gone trick-or-treating in snow in October. As an adult, I have taken my own kids around in snow for the scariest night of the year as well.
In the fall of 2006, we had snow here in mid-October and it never melted until spring 2007.
Soar, I think your comment reflects more about you as a person than anything else. Anonymity makes you brave, doesn’t it? Too bad you don’t have the self-confidence and mental capacity to offer a genuine comment that is relevant and useful.
obviously, this was written by an american
Most of these sound more like the USA than Canada. Examples:
“do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.” – Never been in a US drug store? Pharmacy’s usually closed, too.
“do people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet coke.” – Nobody knows bad diets better than Americans.
“do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.” – At my house, the most expensive car is in the street, with another in the driveway – with more useless junk in the garage than I can name.
“You only know three spices: salt, pepper and ketchup.” – what’s pepper?
“do we buy hot dogs in packages of twelve and buns in packages of eight.” – well, actually, in the US it’s 24 and 16, respectively.
“do we use the word ‘politics’ to describe the process so well: ‘Poli’ in Latin meaning ‘many’ and ‘tics’ meaning ‘bloodsucking creatures’.” – Seems universal to me.
“do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.” – what’s really scary is when the driver in front of you is reading the Braille.
I was in America and I saw Braille on a sign behind a pane of glass.
October is roof shoveling season in Sault Ste. Marie
"15. Your snow blower gets stuck on the roof."
.. or your snowblower it too short to get through the snow 🙂