A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife, “Mother of Six” in spite of her objections.
One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it’s time to go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well.
He shouts at the top of his voice, “Shall we go home Mother of Six?’”
His wife, irritated by her husband’s lack of discretion shouts right back, “Anytime you’re ready, Father of Four.”
A man is in a hotel lobby. As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast.
They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and says, “Ma’am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you’ll forgive me.”
She replies, “if your penis is as hard as your elbow, I’m in room 1221.”
One Sunday morning during mass, the doors blasted open and Satan walked in.
Everyone freaked out and ran, except for one old man.
Satan was puzzled. He asked the old man, “Aren’t you afraid of me?”
The old man replied, “Why would I be? I’ve been married to your sister for 60 years.”
A man is driving home drunk. He gets pulled over by a female cop and she notices that he’s drunk so she arrests him. She starts to read him his rights: “Anything you say can and will be held against you in a court of law.” The man screams out, “TITS!”
Q: What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back when you throw it?
A: A stick.