Q. How do you make your girlfriend scream while having sex?
A. Call her and tell her.

Q. What’s the definition of trust?
A. Getting a blow job from your cannibal girlfriend.

Q. Did you hear about the flasher who was thinking of retiring?
A. He decided to stick it out for one more year.

Q. How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
A. Marry her.

Q. How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood?
A. When his hand caught on fire.