Q: Why is air like sex?
A: Because it is no big deal until you’re not getting any.
Q: How do you know the toothbrush was invented in West Virginia?
A: If it was invented anywhere else, it would be called a teethbrush.
Q: What do you get when you combine a penis and a potato?
A: A dictator
A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose, still heavily sedated from a difficult, four-hour, surgical procedure. A young nurse arrives to give him a partial sponge bath.
“Nurse”, he mumbles, from behind the mask, “Are my testicles black?”
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, “I don’t know, Sir, I’m only here to wash your upper body and feet.”
He struggles to ask again, “Nurse, are my testicles black?”
Concerned that he may elevate his vitals from worry about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and sheepishly pulls back the covers. She raises his gown, holds his penis in one hand and his testicles in the other, lifting and moving them around. Then, she takes a close look and says, “There’s nothing wrong with them, Sir.”
The man pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her and says very slowly, “Thank you very much. That was wonderful, but listen very, very closely… “A r e – m y – t e s t – r e s u l t s – b a c k?”
Q: Why do birds fly south for the winter?
A: ‘Cause it’s too far to walk.