What’s the difference between a woman and a fridge?
A fridge doesn’t fart when you pull your meat out.

A guy was on his first date with a notoriously loose girl. She was immediately receptive to his foreplay after they parked the car. The petting went on and he put his hand in her panties. She seemed to be enjoying it, but suddenly objected, “Ouch! That ring is hurting me!” To which he replied “That’s no ring… That’s my watch!”

A man and a woman had been married some time when the woman began to question her husband. “I know you’ve been with a lot of women before. how many were there?” The husband replied, “Look, I don’t want to upset you, there were many. Let’s just leave it alone.” The wife continued to beg and plead. Finally, the husband gave in. “Let’s see.” he said “There was one, two, three four, five, six, you, eight nine…”

A guy is driving out in the middle of nowhere, very lost. Finally he spots 2 houses so he goes up to the first house and looks in the door way. He sees an old lady yanking on her tits and an old man jerking himself off. He is so freaked out that he goes to the next house and says “What’s up with your neighbours? and the owner of the house says “Oh that’s the Robinson’s they’re both deaf. She’s telling him to go milk the cow and he’s telling her to go fuck herself!”

This guy is walking down the street, when a hooker approaches him and asks, “Say, wanna have a good time?” “Sure!” he says as they head off to the nearest motel. She takes off her clothes, all the whiles he’s staring at her. The hooker says, “Is this the first pussy you’ve seen since you crawled out of one?” The guy says “Nope, just the first one I’ve seen big enough to crawl back into.”