Jim and Edna are both mental patients. One day Jim jumps into the swimming pool but, doesn’t come up for air. Quick as a flash, Edna sees her friend in trouble, so she dives in and pulls him out.
Later, the hospital director calls Edna into his office and says “Edna, I’ve got some good news and some bad news. The good news is, we are releasing you as you are obviously sane saving another’s life, but unfortunately, the bad news is that Jim hanged himself in the bathroom…”
“Oh no” Edna replies, “That’s where I put him to dry!”

Why was the name “P.M.S.” chosen?
Because “Mad Cow Disease” was already taken.

How can you tell when a woman is about to say something intelligent?
When she starts a sentence with “A man once told me..”

What’s the difference between a bachelor and a married man?
A bachelor comes home, sees what’s in the fridge and goes to bed.
Married men come home, see what’s in the bed and goes to the fridge.

What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.