Peter: First of all Bonnie, you have been pregnant for like 6 years! Are you gonna have the baby or not?

Meg: I can’t believe my stupid parents are going to follow around stupid old KISS, it’s painful.
Peter: Not half as painful as a tire iron upside your head.
Meg: What?
Peter: I’ll miss you!

Stewie (at airport): I require a window seat and an inflight Happy Meal, and no pickles! God help you if I find pickles!

Chris: There’s this game where you put in a dollar and you win four quarters. I win every time!

Brian: Gosh I’d like to help you, Peter, but I’ve got to go out in the hall and chew on the back of my ass for about 5 minutes.

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