Trisha Takanawa: Diane, I am standing outside that Park Barrington Hotel because they don’t allow Asians inside.
Joe: Maybe Peter took the trophy, he wanted it all along.
Peter: I couldn’t have taken in, I was to busy breakin’ into Joe’s garage stealin’ his ladder so I could steal the trophy tonight.
Peter: What? It’s a ladder, he can’t use it. It’s like takin’ a watch off a dead guy.
Stewie (to death): Love your work.
Government Agent: You’re mentally unfit to take care of your children.
Peter: I’m getting an Audi!
Brian: Peter, there’s a “T.” That says “Audit”
Peter: No, Brian, it’s a foreign car, the “T” is silent. Sweet, I’m getting an Audi!
Credit to www.familyguyquotes.com