Tom Tucker: A bit of breaking news. A local family is forced out of their home by ghosts. Who are they going to call?
Diana Simmons: (sighs): Ghostbusters, Tom.
Tom Tucker: No, Diane. Their insurance company. That’s just stupid what you said.

Social Worker: “Glen honey, I got a question for you. What do you do for a living?”
Quagmire: “I got a question for you. Why are you still here?”

Quagmire: Hey there sweetie, how old are you?
Connie: 16.
Quagmire: 18? You’re first.
Connie: Mom!
Quagmire: I like where this is goin’! Giggidy, giggidy, gig-gi-dy!

Meg: Finally, look mom I’ve had it. I’m not babysitting anymore. It’s Saturday night I could be out having a life.
Lois: Meg, if you don’t wanna babysit anymore that’s fine, but don’t you stand there and lie to me.
Peter: OH-HO Meg, she torched your ass man! She torched your ass.

Stewie (to one of the prostitutes at Cleveland’s house): So, is there any tread left on the tires? Or at this point would it be like throwing a hotdog down a hallway?

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