Chris (talking to Peter): You’re just running away from your troubles by being here!
Peter: What are you talking about? Meg’s right here.

Lois: I’ve seen that crappy Julia Roberts movie forty-seven times. Have you seen the lips on that woman? Like a baboons ass on her face.

Lois: Nurse this woman is in labour!
Mayor Adam West: Excuse me, I was here first… My leg is asleep!!!

Chris (when Peter goes to attack Hugh Grant on the movie screen): Don’t do it dad! He’s bigger than you.

Chris: So…ah..What are you wearing? Ha ha ha ha ha Wow! I bet you could see right through that.
Lois: Chris, who are you talking to?
Chris: Grandma.