Vanessa: Chris you have to put your parents into a home! Don’t you ever want to inherit this Fu**ing house?!?
Chris: Now Vanessa, don’t swear around Pablo.
Vanessa: Oh that little shit’s from Guam or something. He probably only speaks Spanish.
Stewie (Pablo): Hey “Nessa”—a bullet sounds the same in every language so stuff a sock in it cow!

Chris: I don’t want to get rid of my pimple, I like him. He’s my friend. His name is Doug.
Brian: I just wish I didn’t have to look at it.
Chris: Well, we have to look at your ANUS all day!
Stewie: Thank you!

Lois: Okay here we go, “What color is a fire truck?”
Peter: Aww, oh God I always get these. Umm…okay..uhh…all right…fire truck…fire truck…fire truck fire truck fire truck. What color are those red fire trucks? Uhh..Oh god I can picture them now…all red and everything.

(Stewie is eating dirt)
Stewie: I say Rupert, these crumpets you’ve prepared are positively divine! Mmm, excellent texture, provocative suppore , try another you say? Well, aren’t I the wicked one?!
Lois: Stewie, don’t eat dirt, it’s disgusting.
Stewie: Oh and I suppose those bilious curds you force fed me from your teet  were perfectly fine then!

Lois: Aren’t you upset that your wife cheated on you with your best friend?
Cleveland: Better with Quagmire than someone she could get a disease from.