Quagmire: Fat chicks need love too…. they just need to pay!

Lois: Oh, I haven’t been on a college campus in years. Everything seems so different.
Stewie: Really? Perhaps if you laid on your back with your ankles behind your ears that would ring a few bells.

Chris: Dad what’s a blowhole for?
Peter: I’ll tell you what it’s not for, son. And when I do you’ll understand why I can never go back to Sea World.

Bonnie: Somebody save him, he can’t swim!
Peter: Oh, he’s not even kicking. Kick Joe, kick!
Lois: Peter, he’s a paraplegic!
Peter: That doesn’t mean he can’t hear. Kick Joe, kick!

Meg: Mom guess what! I made the Flag Girl squad
Stewie: Flag Girl? Ummm, yes good for you… Now you can be somewhere else when the boys don’t call!

Credit to www.familyguyquotes.com