Dumpster Donut Fingers

Oliebollen Dutch doughnuts
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I was on my way to work one morning, oh at about 3:30am.  I work at a day to day staffing agency and we open our office at 5:00 am.  Most of  employees are homeless and transient people, which is quite interesting.  You meet so many different people, some are a little shady while others are just down on their luck.  At the time of this story I was using public transportation to get to and from work, I had no car at the time.  If your unfamiliar with taking public transit, let me just say that it really, really, really sucks.

Anyhow, as I was walking down the stairs of the train platform, I notice a slumped over body near the exit doors.  The slumped over shape had a familiar look to me and as I got closer I notice that the figure was a guy that worked for our agency as a temporary worker.  We will call him Slick.  Maybe I was not awake that morning because I usually avoid socializing with most of our staff when not in the office, but I made the biggest mistake.  I yelled “Hey Slick what the fuck are you doing passed out all the way down here.”  Well of course Slick woke up, saw me and immediately staggered to his feet to chat with me.  As it would be no surprise to anyone that knows him, Slick was still very intoxicated from drinking all night long while riding the C-train to stay warm.

When my train arrived at the station, Slick got on the Train and rode with me the with all the way to work.  The ride consists of a 20 minutes commute to downtown from the south of the city, and then a transfer to another train which takes riders into the cities North East, which is approximately another 20 minute ride.  The whole way between sneaking slips for the liquor bottle hidden in his jacket, Slick was telling me the craziest stories about drinking, smoking crack and living on the streets.  Those are other stories that I can save for another time.

Once we arrived at our final stop in the North East we both got off at the C-Train Station which happens to be very close to a Tim Horton’s coffee shop.  I stopped into the Timmy’s and picked myself up a morning coffee and a danish while Slick stayed outside and went around to the back of the store because he had to take a leak.  When  I came out with my coffee and continued on my walk to work, Slick came out from darkness, but in actuality he came out of a dumpster.  His hands were full of Donuts.  But they weren’t actually in his hands, his hands were in the donuts.  He had the donuts stuck on his fingers, a finger stuck in every donut.  Some through the holes, some were jelly filled, cream filled. You name the donut and he had his finger in it.

Slick comes up to me and ask in his drunken slur “Dave you want a Donut?”   Do I want a fucking donut???  “You have your fucking fingers in the fucking donuts. Of course I don’t want a donut.” Slick insist I have one of his dumpster donuts that are on his fingers. “Come on have a Donut?” Slick asks again. “No Slick I’m good. ” I reply.

On the 15 minute walk to my office Slick offers a few more times and I decline. Surprising enough when we get to the office Slick offers the Donuts to some people that are at the office and they accept.  The accepted Donuts that were stuck on his fingers – fingers that may not have seen soap anytime in the previous year – that came from a Dumpster.  Holy Shit! I couldn’t believe it.

Well that’s it. An adventure of mine, working at a day to day staffing agency. I will write about some more sometime. I have so many crazy stories.

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