Constant Struggle

I am always in a constant struggle in some part of my life. It’s a never ending battle of how to get by. I went to Brookshire Brothers to pick up some toilet paper and came close to a coronary when I saw the entire aisle filled with a virtual cornucopia of defication removal products. There was Cottonelle, Northern, Charmin, the list was endless. I thought about the bears on TV, you know, the ones that have the toilet paper lint stuck to their butts? I couldn’t for the life of me remember what brand they used. I certainly have enough problems in my life without having to worry about lint on my butt. The prices were ridiculous. The cheap kind was one ply and I know what a bad idea that is. Are there really people out there that use one ply? I will always wonder who they are and vow to never shake their hand again. Unless of course they’re of Arab descent. Their culture uses the left hand for this cumbersome, but necessary deed. I walked from one end of the aisle to the other. I remember thinking, what a booming business this is. In the old days people used grass, leaves, fur, mussel shells and of course who doesn’t remember their grandmothers Sears and Roebuck catalog. At my age, my brain has become a 20 terabyte hard drive filled with useless information. To prove it, did you know that “splinter free” toilet paper didn’t come out until 1935? Can you imagine? After the fourth trip down the aisle and passing the Angel Soft I decide to not put myself through this any longer. I will put toilet paper out of my mind for good and let my wife deal with this. As I am leaving I pass a woman pushing her basket and I wonder, is she a “wadder” or a “folder”?

Published by RantingSam

I live in Texas and love to fish for black bass. I have been married for 37 years, have three beautiful girls and love satirical humor.