How come you never hear anything about the 10th reindeer “Olive” ?
Yeah, you know, “Olive the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names”
Why are women’s breasts like a train set a kid gets at Christmas time?
Because they were originally made for children but the father wants to play with them.
Why doesn’t Santa have any children?
Because he only comes once a year, and when he does, it’s down the chimney.
Why is Christmas just like a day at the office?
You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.
How are a Christmas tree and a priest alike?
They both have ornamental balls.
What do the female reindeer do when Santa takes the male reindeer out on Christmas Eve?
They go into town, and blow a few bucks.
What’s the difference between snowmen and snowladies?
Why did the snowman have a smile on his face?
Because the snowblower was coming down the block.
As a little girl climbed on to Santa’s lap, Santa asked the usual, “And what would you like for Christmas?”
The child stared at him open mouthed and horrified for a minute, then gasped, “Didn’t you get my E-mail?”