MaleWail » Relationships

How To Prevent Your Partner From Cheating

Dave — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 17:01:00 +0000

Most of us at some point during a relationship are confronted with the issue of infidelity. This article has been written to help you prevent your partner from cheating.

The goal is to make your partner want you and not someone else. Here are 10 simple things that you can do which should keep your partner interested in you.

1. First and foremost you should try to trust your partner. This may of course not always be the easiest thing to do. But making your partner feel that you trust them, gives them the signal that you are confident. A confident person is always more interesting compared to a person who isn’t.

2. Give your partner the space they need. If you let a bird fly away it is more likely to be loyal to you compared to putting it in a cage. In this situation the bird is more likely to fly back to you. However, if the bird is kept in a cage and it eventually manages to escape it is less likely to come back to you. Trying to control your partner will almost definitely lead to disaster. Give them a certain amount of freedom – but not too much. Some partners feel that an excessive amount of freedom is a sign of not caring or not being interested.

3. Whether we like it or not – we all have our insecurities. Your partner will have them too. Massage his or her ego by making compliments once in a while. The important thing though is not to over do it. If you swamp your partner with too many compliments they are either unlikely to believe you or they simply won’t accept them. Someone who has severe insecurities will struggle to accept an overload of compliments because they don’t actually believe they are worth it. In this situation your compliments could backfire. If the relationship is young, start off by giving the odd compliment here and there and monitor carefully how your partner reacts to them.

4. Don’t over do it with gifts. By overloading your partner with an excessive amount of gifts you could be sending out the signal that you are worried they may leave you if you don’t continue to buy them gifts. This could display a sign of weakness or insecurity on your part. You definately want to avoid this. Of course, surprising your partner with occasional gifts, at the right time, is the right thing to do. In fact, giving someone a present, especially if it’s an earned surprise, can often be more rewarding than receiving a present. So feel free to give your partner flowers, chocolates, nice sex toys, a weekend break away, or even a voucher for a massage, etc. Just don’t overdo it.

5. Keep your partner intellectually stimulated. People easily get bored if their partner lacks ideas or if they are not up to date with what is happening in the world. Bring new ideas to the table – and sometimes insist on them – even if you’re partner doesn’t agree. Especially if your idea means a lot to you or if you are certain that you are right. A great way of keeping your partner intellectually stimulated is to teach them something that they could not do before. This, simply put, will make you an interesting partner to be around.

6. Make an effort to look good – this ensures that you remain attractive in the eyes of your partner. Go to the gym, do yoga, go for a swim or do some other form regular physical exercise. Please bare in mind though that simply looking good is not everything. Mental attraction carries a lot more weight in a relationship compared to physical attraction.

7. Build a healthy social life outside the relationship. The things you experience when you are around other people will bring new ideas into the relationship. If you spend every day of the week with your partner you run the risk of letting you relationship go stale. This is definitely something to avoid. Keep the relationship interesting.

8. Don’t fall into the routine trap. Some routine is definitely healthy in a relationship as it provides a certain amount of stability. Stability is without a doubt something we all need. However, too much routine sometimes can lead to boredom. Boredom can (not always) cause your partner to look elsewhere. Naturally this is something you want to avoid. It’s important to strike a healthy balance between stability and change. Some examples of change: Introduce new foods to the relationship, don’t always go to the same places on holiday, invite different people around for dinner, try a new hobby and in general – don’t be frightened to be spontaneous. Doing these things demonstrates to your partner that you are not afraid of change and it displays confidence. Confidence is definitely an attractive feature.

9. Don’t be too indecisive. Constant indecisiveness can be a sign of weakness. What you definitely don’t want is that your partner starts to make all the decisions for you. This can lead to a partner walking all over the other person. If someone starts to do that they start to take their partner for granted. This is something that you definitely want to avoid. Although a certain amount of indecisivness can on occasion be attractive as it will give your partner a chance to take the lead. The important thing here to remember is that it should not always be the same person who is in control. Control, in a healthy relationship, is very much a shared thing.

10. Finally, on a more lighthearted note – don’t forget to smile and laugh. In fact it’s very important to laugh and smile in any realtionship. Smiles and laughter will transfer to your partner – and they can draw from that, especially if they are having a bad day. Smiling and laughing also is a form of showing emotions. People who are able to show emotions display a certain amount of confidence. And that can only be a good thing.

To round of my article I would like to summarise what we have just learned. The two most important things in a relationship are Trust and Confidence. Have the confidence to occasionally show resistance. Resistance reminds your partner that you are actually there and that you form an important part in the relationship. Again, dont over do it with resistance – find a healthy dose. After having read all 10 points above – dont try to introduce them all to the relationship at once. You dont want your partner to think: “Oh, whats wrong with him/her?” Introduce them slowly, one by one. As you work your way through the list you’re confidence will start to grow automatically – because you will start to see signs of success and you will get the feeling that you have achieved something.

Getting Beyond “He Said/She Said”

Dave — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 17:01:00 +0000

The term, “He said/she said” is often heard in the unfortunate case of rape. In this situation the term applies to the fact that when there is little factual evidence on which to base a decision the jury is left trying to determine who’s story they believe and the case becomes one of her word against his. These cases perhaps illustrate the problems regarding he said/she said that couples are faced with in a relationship. Beyond the fact that in a rape case one or both of the parties may not be telling the truth, exists the underlying problem that men and women think and process information differently. The differences between men and women include differences in thought process, sensitivity, memory, and communication. A successful relationship is one that recognizes the difference between men and women and is able to get beyond the he said/she said scenarios.

Men and women have a different thought process when it comes to solving problems. While both sexes are capable of solving problems equally well the thought process involved in coming to a resolution varies between men and women. For men a problem is an opportunity for them to demonstrate their problem solving skills in a quick and efficient manner. Men see having the problem solved as the ultimate goal and they believe that the best solution is the one that is quickest and most efficient. Women on the other hand see a problem as an opportunity to work together and reach a resolution. Women relish the chance to communicate about the problem and the act of working together to solve the problem is more important than actually solving the problem. Women may feel closer to their partner, even if the problem still exists, if she feels that the resolution process drew them closer together. Understanding that women and men view the problem solving process differently will help a relationship to prosper.

Sensitivity is another area where men and women differ. Women have a heightened sense of sensitivity relative to men. This heightened sensitivity results in women being more prone to act on their emotions rather than on rational thought. A woman’s sensitivity allows her to understand her own feelings as well as those of others better so her reactions tend to take feelings into consideration above logic. However, men do not have the same level of sensitivity and therefore are more likely to make their decisions based solely on logic and not take feelings and emotions into consideration. This disparity can result in problems during a relationship because the woman assumes that the man intentionally tried to hurt their feelings if they make a decision that has this effect while the man may grow frustrated if he believes the woman made an irrational decision. Realizing that this difference exists will help a couple go get beyond he said/she said.

Men and Women also differ in terms of memory. Men have a memory that is stronger in situations where they can recall the details of an event by making an association with something concrete such as a location or item. For example men are more apt to remember an event that took place in a location that they are able to visualize well. Women on the other hand have a memory that is stronger when they are able to associate the emotions felt with that memory to other memories where they had similar emotions. This type of memory is especially problematic because when I women becomes angry with her partner, she is often able to recall other situations where he has angered her. Unless the difference in memory is recognized it can become a source of frustration in a relationship when the man and woman don’t understand why their partner doesn’t remember something that is so vivid to them.

Men and Women also often have different communication styles which can complicate a relationship. Men tend to be more introspective about their problems and choose to deal with them internally and without discussing them with their partner. When they do decide to discuss a problem it’s usually after much thought and careful consideration. Women on the other hand enjoy conversing about their problems with their partner and believe that doing so helps them to understand their problem better and come to a solution more easily. Women often use communication as a method for reaching a conclusion. They view the discussion as a way to figure out a solution. The he said/she said aspects of communications must be understood to avoid frustration and disappointment in a relationship.

Men and women have different styles when it comes to problem solving, sensitivity, memory and communication in a relationship. Careful observance and understanding of these differences is necessary for a relationship to flourish. Understanding these he said/she said principals and being willing to get beyond them will help to minimize difficulties in a relationship in regards to gender differences.

How to Forgive AND Forget

Dave — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 17:01:00 +0000

We have heard the saying many times that, “It’s easier to forgive than to forget,” but the truth is that unless you are capable of forgetting you never really forgive. Forgiveness is the act of excusing someone for their offense but unless you are also willing to forget their transgression you aren’t truly forgiving them. Refusing to forget a wrong action against you results in a lingering grudge between you and the other person. Although you may have told them that you have forgiven them, the memory of their actions remains with you and creates a prejudice towards them that results in a lack of trust in the future. True forgiveness involves both forgiving and forgetting and this can be achieved by understanding your own feelings as well as those of the person who wronged you, expressing your feelings in a rational matter, realizing that your relationship is more important than being right and finally accepting your partner’s apology.

You may have been wronged in a situation and your feelings of anger may be completely justified but it’s important to truly understand your feelings in order to forgive and forget. It is imperative that you realize that the actions of the other person may have hurt you or made you angry but that reacting in a hostile manner as a result of these feelings is not beneficial to your relationship. While your feelings of hurt of anger may be justified, taking the time to work through these emotions before offering forgiveness will help you to forget your partner’s words or actions. If you rush to offer forgiveness before you have had the opportunity to vent your own frustrations it will be difficult for you to forget your partner’s wrongdoing. You also need to understand the feelings of the person who offended you. It is also important to speak to your partner about why they committed the offense against you. It is not fair to them to make assumptions about why they acted the way they did. Giving them the chance to express their side of the situation will give you a better understand of why they acted the way they did. You may learn that everything was a misunderstanding or that you were not hurt intentionally. Allowing the other person a chance to offer their take on the situation will enable you to see their motives. Understanding your own emotions as well as your partner’s will help you to really forgive and forget.

Dealing with your own emotions in a calm and rational manner is also crucial to forgiving and forgetting. Your partner may be wrong and you may be completely justified in your feelings of anger but it’s important that you not act strictly on emotion in this situation. Acting and speaking out of anger can elevate the tension in the situation and deter the forgiveness process. Give yourself a little time to manage your own feelings and collect your thoughts so that when you approach your partner you are able to speak about your feelings in a rational manner. It’s best to wait until both you and your partner are ready to speak about the conflict in a calm and rational manner. If you are truly interested in forgiving and forgetting when you have been wronged, wait until both parties have calmed down to ensure that neither one speaks out of anger and destroys the chance for true forgiveness.

A crucial aspect of forgiving and forgetting is valuing your relationship more than you value being right in an argument. While you may be completely right in a situation, being right is not worth destroying the relationship over. If you are able to put your love for your partner ahead of the vindication of being right you will be more willing to forgive and forget. Also, forgiving and forgetting will allow your relationship to continue to flourish because working through conflicts makes a relationship stronger.

Finally you can never really forgive and forget unless you are truly willing to accept your partner’s apology. Harboring feelings that the apology isn’t genuine will damage the relationship because you will never forget their offending action. Listen sincerely to your partner’s apology and have faith in them that there apology is heartfelt and genuine. Then let them know that you accept their apology and are willing to not let this situation interfere with your future interactions.

True forgiveness involves not only excusing the transgression but also effectively forgetting it as well. You can not truly forgive someone if you don’t also agree to forget the offense. Refusing to forget indicates a lack of trust in your partner to not repeat the offense. While deciding to forgive and forget is a personal matter a few suggestions for doing so are to understand your feelings as well as the feelings of your partner, taking the time to rationalize your emotions before you act on them, valuing your relationship enough to truly forgive and accepting your partner’s apology with an open heart.

How to Fight Fairly

Dave — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 17:01:00 +0000

In any relationship worth having conflict is bound to arise. The true test of the relationship is whether or not you feel that it is worthwhile to resolve these conflicts and if you are able to do so in a fair and objective way. Key elements to fighting fairly include sticking to the issue at hand, being open to listening to the other person, not involving others in the fight, not bringing up old issues and finally being willing to accept responsibility and let it go when the fight is over.

It’s important to know what you are fighting over and to stick to that issue in the argument. If you allow things to build up over time and then explode with many grievances at once neither you nor the person you are fighting with will have a clear understanding of what the issue is or why you are fighting. It is important to address each issue as they arise to alleviate resentment and fighting that does not have a clear focus. Sticking to one specific issue in a fight is the fair way to fight and it’s also the most successful way to fight. If both parties involved have a clear understanding of why they are fighting you are much more likely to reach a mutually amicable resolution.

Listening is a very important component of fighting fairly. It is imperative to allow the other person to offer their side of the argument. Fighting without listening will not be effective because it does not allow you to be open to the other person’s opinions and justifications. The other person may have a very valid reason for their actions but if you are only interested in what you have to say and are unwilling to listen you will not hear their point of view. Another aspect of listening is to really understand what the other person is saying. It’s very easy to not hear the intent of a person’s message. In a fight you want to actively clarify the other person’s statements and give them the opportunity to affirm or negate your interpretation of their argument. Listening attentively and understanding the other person’s argument is a very effective and fair way to fight.

Bringing others into a fight is not a fair way to fight. It is important that the fight take place between those directly involved and that neither party elicits the help of friends or family members to validate their position. It doesn’t matter how many other people agree with you, that does not necessarily make you right, so don’t involve others in your fight. This is not only not fair to your partner but it is also not fair to those who are dragged into the argument. While you may have many people who agree with you and believe you are right, bringing them into the fight just isn’t fair and also isn’t effective.

In a fair fight it is also important to not bring up old issues. A fair fight will remain focused and bringing up the past distracts from the current issues and also sends the message that the past has not been forgotten. If you partner feels that you are bringing up old issues, he may begin to feel as if the current fight is not worth fighting because it will not be forgotten. If you convey the message that you are not willing to forgive and forget you are not fighting fairly because your partner will feel as though the argument is no longer worthwhile. Also, bringing up old issues is not fair because they are not relevant to the current fight. A fair fight is clearly focused on a current conflict without dredging up old issues.

Another key tactic for fighting fairly is to be willing to accept responsibilities for your own actions and be willing to reach a resolution and move on from the argument. Those who fight fairly are prepared to concede the fact that they may lose the argument. Losing the argument means either that you admit that you were solely to blame in the situation or that you are unable to convince the other person of your argument. What is important in a fair fight is not who is right or who is wrong but that the couple is able to reach an amicable agreement and that they are both able to progress and leave the fight in the past.

Fighting fairly is crucial in a healthy relationship. Disagreements are natural and resolving them in a fair way is imperative to a thriving relationship. Not fighting fairly is indicative of a relationship that is not healthy. A fair fight however incorporates the key elements of focus, listening and resolution without involving third parties in the fight. A fair fight is also left in the past after resolution. Fair fighting leads to resolution in most cases.

Is it Cheating? Internet Flirtations, Affairs and Love Connections

Dave — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 17:01:47 +0000

Doug was engaged to be married in two weeks. He was sitting at his fiancés computer, looking to find addresses to send early thank you notes when it happened. Doug “accidentally opened” the email that changed everything in an instant. “Joe, thanks for sending me those pics last night. They were even sexier then the ones you sent before. I’m sure I’ll be thinking about you and those pictures tonight as I drift off to sleep with a smile on my face.. I’ll call you tomorrow after work on my drive home.”

Stunned, sickened and panicked, Doug confronted Amy over the phone while she was at work. She was home in fifteen minutes and in a marathon fight that last until midnight Amy denied having an affair. She said she’d met Joe online in a chat forum and had never even met him in person. She wasn’t even sure Joe was his real name. Amy explained the stress associated with the upcoming wedding was killing her and she was just mindlessly browsing the web when she stumbled into this chat with her new online “friend”. At first they talked about day to day stuff, even the wedding plans. But after a couple of weeks it turned flirtatious, and after a couple more, sexual. She urged Doug to read the emails so he would believe her. As painful as it was to read the sexually charged correspondence, Doug read far enough to believe they’d never met. However, although they decided not to call off the wedding, Doug moved into the spare room. Too humiliated to face it he told no one! Fifteen days later he stood at the alter, all smiles. Fast forward nine months to today. Amy and Doug are in couples counseling. The outlook is shaky at best.

This leads us to the question that is facing more of today’s couples than can possibly be estimated. Is an internet fling or flirting cheating?? My answer is simple, that answer is totally up to you. If you find out your mate has been heating up the internet with another man and it bothers you, which I’m fairly sure it will, then yes, without a doubt, that’s cheating. The idea of “finding out” itself, indicates that there was hiding of the truth involved in the first place. If your woman knew you wouldn’t dig it, so she hid it in the first place, then even she knew it was cheating – no matter what she says about how innocent it was. If you are one of the very small minority of men out there that would not be bothered by this behavior, who would shrug it off, then you wouldn’t be asking this question in the first place.

Cheating used to be very black and white. However these days a lot of men would like to think the internet has created a million shades of grey. I beg to differ. I think cheating is still black and white. I think it’s fairly easy to define as a behavior that creates feelings of emotional or sexual betrayal. I think men and women know when they are cheating, almost always confirmed by their hiding the behavior in question. Now, I know, women do bad things too. However, statistically men are much more likely to engage in “internet affairs”. Not to mention many real world physical affairs start online and men who engage in questionable online behavior are vastly more likely to have a “real” affair.

So, in the end, only you know the answer. Is it cheating? Ask yourself one thing, “does it feel OK to me?” If the answer to that question is no, then your answer is, yes, she is cheating. Don’t cut her any slack on interpretation of the rules. Trust me, in her heart of hearts, she knows it’s cheating too.

Emotional Infidelity in a Relationship: What is Emotional Cheating?

Dave — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 17:01:28 +0000

People define cheating differently. Some people define it as an emotional act as well as a physical act and others just define it as a physical act.
That topic alone can cause some issues in a relationship if both parties define cheating differently.

So, in order to eliminate obstacles that may later come into play it’s always best to make certain you know how the other person in the relationship defines something like that.

Although it’s not pertinent that couples are exactly alike, there are obviously some important areas in a relationship which help uplift it rather than hinder it. And this type of topic can be one of those things.

Truthfully, I believe that it’s difficult to keep the romance alive and a relationship on a positive note if you’re unable to work in unity with your spouse. Especially if one of you defines cheating in one way and the other defines cheating in another way.

Usually, physical cheating is what we all refer to as cheating. It’s a general consensus, so it’s emotional cheating that can be the real culprit behind ruining a great relationship.

So we’ll talk a bit about that today.

What Exactly is Emotional Cheating?

Well there are different levels of emotional cheating, but let’s discuss the most significant forms of emotional cheating…

1) Lying by Omission

Some women consider cheating to be a secret that is kept from them. For instance, their spouse has a dinner date with another woman, but doesn’t bother to mention it.

Whether this situation is considered cheating depends on the relationship you have with your partner and the type of friendships you have outside of your partnership.

Since the pendulum can swing either way it’s best to make certain you both see eye-to-eye before it ever happens (if it ever does). Maybe you don’t think it’s important to mention it because it doesn’t mean anything and mentioning it would give it more weight than it’s worth, but it’s best not to assume something like that but to talk it over instead.

The reason for that is because, on the contrary, some women feel that if it was so unimportant, then why not just mention it. It’s a catch-22 situation. So, a constructive way to handle a circumstance like that it to discuss it with one another before it ever has a chance to occur.

2) The “Roaming Eye”

When I speak of the “roaming eye” I mean visual disrespect to your partner. Acknowledging someone’s beauty is one thing, but the “roaming eye” is a much more intense act.

It’s beyond acknowledgement. In a situation like that, fantasy creeps in and your partner feels mistreated or upset due to the act of disregarding her and making it clear you would like to have sex with the person in your sights.

Under those conditions, it can turn into a huge problem for the relationship. Of course, it’s one thing to notice someone’s beauty from time to time, but the “roaming eye” is another thing altogether. It can lead to insecurity issues, trust issues, and sometimes result in actual physical cheating.

So exactly what is the “roaming eye?”

Although I couldn’t possibly mention everything, let’s talk about the more obvious actions…

The “roaming eye” constitutes going to strip clubs, ogling women in the street, and commenting can also be a part of the issue in which verbal insinuations are made concerning what you would like to do with that person. Taken too far, it can be emotionally abusive to your partner and result in a destructive relationship that could eventually lead you both in separate directions.

So, a constructive way to handle this situation on a personal basis, is to treat any woman like you would want someone to treat your wife, sister, mother, or any other female that you regard with the highest respect.

Of course, it isn’t always going to work because you’re human, but it’s a good place to start.

By asking yourself, “How do I want other men to treat my partner?” can help you change the entire way you see things.

For example, someone ogling your wife in a disrespectful way is most likely something you would not take kindly to. Perhaps you’d even be infuriated if you witnessed it happening. So, if you apply those feelings to a woman who catches your eye, it makes it somewhat easier to want to treat that person with a lot more respect.

After all she is someone else’s relative. Obviously not yours, but someone’s.

3) Physical Contact

This type of emotional cheating occurs when you go to strip clubs and receive lap dances or some other similar type of contact from the opposite sex.

As a man, you may not consider this as cheating, but your partner may. As a result, this induces conflict in the relationship in which your partner feels betrayed and you feel as if you didn’t do anything wrong.

If this does occur, a constructive way to handle this is to put yourself in your partner’s shoes or put your partner in the stripper’s shoes.

For example, would you want her in a male strip club receiving lap dances? Or would you want your wife in front of other men stripping and giving other men lap dances?

Chances are good the answer is “no.” If you reverse the situation, it’s easy enough to look at it constructively so that the two of you can work on resolving the issue by basing it on the old saying, “treat others the way you want (your wife) to be treated.”

Be objective, be honest, and most of all… be fair. Work hard at trying not to give yourself extra privileges you wouldn’t give your spouse. Make it your responsibility to be considerate to other women just as you would want another man to be considerate to your wife.

You’re no exception to the rule.

Work Together in Unity

Since this issue is such a big one, it’s important to sit down with one another and discuss why it’s happening if you aren’t in agreement about your actions, because a great relationship is built on unity between a man and woman and if there isn’t any unity… it will lead to a lot of problems.

As a man, some of the distraction you’re fighting against is biological which is often due to visual stimuli which you can’t help. But that doesn’t mean the promotion of that behavior is necessarily right. It’s one thing to have a natural response to something like that, but it’s another thing to use that natural response to benefit you in continuing on in that behavior.

An important thing to do is to make certain that excuses on either end aren’t being made. Excuses and denial don’t resolve anything. Serious situations like that require both parties to own up to their faults.

Pride should be left at the back door, so your relationship doesn’t take a beating because of it. Avoid treating it like a game of matching pride against pride.

To eliminate pride in the beginning, you may find it a good idea to talk about how you want to handle the discussion on each end before you bring up the conversation.

Consider saying something like…

“I wanted to talk to you about something, but before I bring it up, I thought maybe we could talk about how we want to handle this conversation, because I don’t want anything getting in the way of us resolving it. I know sometimes I can be stubborn, so I feel it’s important for me to say that when we discuss this I don’t plan on allowing that to interfere with us fixing this situation.”

When confronting it like that, it allows the problem to take the forefront so that when you do end up discussing it, it makes it easier for you both to stay focused on the topic at hand and keep it on a positive note.

You can then discuss it in layers by trying to explain why you do what you do (besides the obvious reasons) and she can explain how it makes her feel and then you can both focus on how to resolve the issue together–in unity.

It’s easy to feel that emotional cheating doesn’t hurt anyone, because in certain ways it can be defined as an invisible act, but don’t underestimate the damage that it can have on a relationship. It can do just as much damage as its lethal counterpart “physical cheating.”

Sure, there may not be any touching involved, but infidelity is not just a physical act. Remember, be objective, be honest, and most of all… be fair. You are no exception to the rule.

Work hard at being faithful to your partner in more ways than one–mind and body.

7 Warning Signs That She is Not Interested in You Anymore

Dave — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 17:01:51 +0000

To break up a relationship is a harder decision when we talk about a long term one.

In most cases when woman is no longer interested in a relationship she doesn’t want to be the one to end it. But even when she is already made the decision to break it up, she will take some time to give you some signs to prepare you, before she tells you. If you feel that something is going wrong it is time to take a closer look at your relationship. Here are seven warning signs she is no longer interested:

1. This is probably the most classic subtle signal of all: her life become too hectic. She hasn’t picked up the phone for a few days and when she does, she is busy and pretending that she doesn’t have time to met you. This isn’t necessarily a sign that it is over, but if you are used to meet her frequently then there is something wrong.

2. Eventually, when she decided to spend some time with you she keeps looking around to find
something to do or someone else to talk to. However, when a woman is interested, she puts in
the effort by giving you her full attention.

3. She’s secretive and no longer wants to tell you where she has been or who was on the phone.

4. Don’t forget that women love to talk. If she doesn’t ask you questions and shows no interest in what you have to say and when you ask her questions she limits her answers to “yes” and “no”
she has a problem. Can it be the relationship with you?

5. Is she causing arguments over stupid little things? If nothing you do or say isn’t right anymore and all that goes wrong is your fault you can start to worry.

6. She refuses the presents you make. Women love to get presents, so if she turns yours down, she
can feel guilty because she is thinking to break up with you, especially if you know she was about
to buy that thing for herself.

7. She talks about divorce or break up of other people relationship, as a positive thing. Maybe a
friend of her just has braked up with her boyfriend and now she is doing much better.

In the game of romance, few things are black and white. Most of the points above are assumptions
based on commonly used techniques. There is room for interpretations and misunderstandings but all this can make you wonder if everything is ok and discuss the problems you might have.

Why Women Cheat

Dave — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 14:57:12 +0000

Years ago a woman cheating on her spouse was unheard of but in modern times the number of women who cheat on their spouse is growing exponentially. The differences in men and women cheating is that men often cheat for physical reasons while women often have emotional reasons for cheating on their partner. The reasons why women cheat include loneliness, revenge, boredom and self-esteem. These factors may be inexcusable but they do exist in the minds of a cheating woman. More and more women are becoming guilty of cheating on their partners and it is often emotional reasons rather than lust that drive them to these affairs.

Loneliness is one of the primary reasons that women seek out affairs and cheat on their partner. Although it sounds contradictory that they should feel lonely because the women are currently in a relationship, it is often a relationship that is not emotionally fulfilling. Women involved in these unsatisfactory relationships may feel as lonely if not more so than women who are not in a relationship. If a woman is not receiving the attention she feels she deserves in a relationship, she may be tempted to seek that attention elsewhere and become involved in an affair. A partner who becomes overly involved with his work or a hobby may not make time to spend with his partner and this often results in the women feeling as if they are all alone. This feeling of loneliness can drive a woman to cheat on her partner. One of the most prevalent reasons why women cheat is that they feel as though their current partner is not lavishing much attention on them and they feel lonely even in his presence.

Revenge has also become and increasing factor in why women cheat. The modern woman is no longer willing to sit back and accept the fact that their partner may cheat on them. If a woman confirms or even just holds a suspicion that their partner is cheating on them, they may be driven to engage in an affair of their own as an act of revenge. The theory of, “An eye for an eye,” has unfortunately trickled down into the realm of romantic relationships and many women see a cheating partner as a justification to have an affair of their own. They believe that they are justified in having an affair if they catch their partner cheating on them. Furthermore they may be extremely hurt by their partner’s actions and seek a way to hurt them in the same way. While it is not a justifiable reason, many women see revenge as an appropriate reason for cheating on their spouse.

Boredom may also factor into why women cheat. Their current relationship may have fallen into a rut and lost the excitement that it possessed in the early stages of its existence. They may feel that their relationship has become dull and predictable and rather than trying to bring excitement into their current relationship they may pursue affairs in the hopes of achieving the excitement they felt when they first became involved with their partner. While an affair may bring about a temporary solution of making the woman feel excited about love again it may ultimately destroy both their current relationship as well as their cheating relationship. An affair is exciting not only because it involves a relationship with a new person but also because it involves sneaking around and ultimately getting away with doing something wrong. To many women this is very exciting and they are willing to risk losing their relationship over their affair. Many women cheat because they are bored with the monotony of their current relationship and they seek to bring excitement back into their life through engaging in an affair.

Another reason why women cheat is a lack of self-esteem. Women may feel that they are not getting an adequate amount of admiration from their partner and they may be tempted to cheat to affirm that they are still attractive and desirable. When a relationship meets a stagnant point where the partners are no longer making a conscious effort to reassure each other that they are still desirable, many women begin to feel insecure. This insecurity leads women to seek affirmation of their desirability outside of the relationship in the form of an affair. Being found desirable by another compensates for the lack of longing they feel from their partner and helps to boost their self-esteem. While women with a healthy self-esteem are more apt to remain happy in a relationship, those that lack self-esteem are often driven to cheat on their partners.

Men are not the only ones who cheat on their partners. It is becoming more and more common for women to be guilty of cheating. While women are beginning to cheat as often as men the reasons why women cheat are much different from the reasons why men cheat. The reasons for women cheating are tied tightly to emotional reasons such as loneliness, revenge and boredom.

Signs Your Woman May Not be Sexually Satisfied

Dave — Sun, 25 Oct 2009 17:59:06 +0000

Not all woman will admit to their partner if they are not sexually satisfied. However they are some signs you can look out for if you think that your girlfriend or spouse may not be getting satisfied. This isn’t the time to get offended and defensive. If your woman is feeling incomplete you want to do what you can to fix the problem so you can both have a great sexually experience. If you are concerned just watch out for these signs:

Sign 1: You may notice her shopping more then usual. This could be because she is trying to keep herself occupied. This could even be her way of trying to get your attention.

Sign 2: If you notice she is putting on weight then she may be trying to fill the void of lack of sexually satisfaction with food.

Sign 3: She may be drinking more. This could be a sign that she is trying to get satisfaction with something else that relaxes her.

Sign 4: If she makes comments about your sex life or lack of a sex life it may be here way of trying to give you a hint without coming out and saying it directly.

Sign 5: If her outfits are starting to get more provocative this may be her way of trying to get attention from other men that she may not be getting from you. It could also be her way of reminding you just how sexy she is and what you are missing.

Sign 6: When you do end up having sex another sign of her not being satisfied would be her lack of emotional involvement.

Creating Effective and Efficient Relationships

Dave — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 16:01:44 +0000

Relationships of all kinds are often perceived as very delicate things, that require extra effort to maintain. However, a relationship can also be something that can provide security and can also be long lasting despite many trials.

Building an effective and lasting relationships is a necessity for several reasons. For example in a group or organization, the well being of the people depends on how efficient and effective that group or organization works.

The group or organization is also dependent on how the members work well with the management.

An ineffective group or organization can really be very frustrating. An effective group or organization can also ask so much on their members, that sometimes the members would be having no life outside the walls of the area where they work or sacrifice the other aspects of their life just to meet deadlines. For an organization or group with this kind of scenario, relationships can be stressed or suffer from breakdown.
People or other entities who depend on these groups or organization also suffer.
Society is defined as a web of relationships, which requires all parties to work and contribute their share in order to achieve a common goal. Having a relationship that is good, where cooperation and respect are manifested, can make society work better. In this way each member works for the good of the whole and towards achieving a common goal. This can only be attained with effective and efficient relationships.
Understanding the other parties’ feeling and position creates an effective and efficient relationship. The easiest method to understand what is important to another party is to ask them what they want and listen to what they have to say. When the other party realizes this, they would feel the importance given to them

Effective and efficient relationships require parties to openly express their feelings and positions on all matters pertinent on the relationship. Assuming that the other party understands our needs and give us when we need it without asking for it is not a good practice.

Respect is the key to relationship. In order to create a more effective relationship, parties should treat each other with respect. We can show respect just by listening to the other party and by trying sincerely to understand how they function. You can also show respect to other parties by confirming that they are doing everything they can.

The opposite of respect is quick forming of judgements based on unfounded facts and prejudice.
Respect is the very foundation for a great relationship. This also means respecting yourself and respecting others.

Another key area in forming an effective relationship is to tackle differences of the other party directly. Differences between parties or people are quite interesting. For example in a conversation where each party listens to the other party, you may observe that each is having two different perspectives.

Work towards a win-win solution for both parties.

This can be done when at least one party acknowledges that the relationship is important. That party would then exert more time, effort and energy to understand the other party’s needs and deal with it to get it out of the way. Should they fail, it is comforting for that party to know that they tried.

Effectively listening and no pre-judging. This is important if parties are to understand each other.

Informal discussions are conducive for parties. They bring out issues and concerns comfortably. They also feel more relaxed making them think more clearly.

Developing an atmosphere where the other party can express their feelings when they need to.

When parties fail to express whatever is on their mind or their feelings, it can get in the way of building an effective relationship.

Parties should be aware that certain things exist naturally but should be controlled in any dealings in any relationship. Human nature is one. Some of these things found in a relationship also include a history of stereotyping or mistrust, blaming the other person or party for a strained relationship, excluding the other party’s feelings when focusing on a task, no clear and defined objectives, roles and expectations of each party in a relationship is also unclear.

Relationships are important to anyone, addressing issues and problems right away is a must to further improve the relationship. As they say ‘No man is an Island’.