Bathroom Behavior

It has been awhile since I contributed to this site and it’s not because I’m overwhelmed at work and don’t have the time.  Nor is it because I was on vacation and wasn’t around a computer.  It was neither of those things, it is simply because I am lazy.

Oh am I lazy, habitually.  When I work, I work hard but getting the motor started is the harder than the actual work itself most times.   I can finish things with the best of em, but probably won’t be starting as many tasks as those so called go getters.

Ok, enough of that and on to my anecdote;

I was using the facilities at a local mall today when I heard the door to the washroom open and someone walk in, I was in one of two stalls rolling a joint. Yes that’s what I use public washrooms for.
The footsteps shuffled around the washroom for 10 or 20 seconds before entering the vacant stall adjacent to the one in which I was occupying.

Of course I was paying little attention to him untill he started to urinate.  That is when I began to hear the uneven splashes of liquid hitting and missing it’s target, and out of the corner of my eye I see pellets of pee hitting the ground and bounding into my stall.

Geezus, this guy is pissing EVERYWHERE! By the time he was done, I swear on my life that there was a current to the piss on the floor and in some places there was pee half of an inch deep and by all accounts the floor looked level before hand.

I’m not kidding when I say that if there had been absolutely no toilet in that stall that it would have made zero difference because in my mind this guy was pissing straight up in the air and letting it land wherever the hell it wanted.

I scrapped rolling my joint early on in the water show and after exiting the stall decided I needed to know who this failure at life was and decided to stick around, washing my hands untill he was done.  Lo and behold to my great disgust and astonishment I look into the bathroom mirror as one of the Mall’s very own janitors was emerging from the stall.

I’m not racist but the fact that the janitor was an obvious immigrant I said nothing at all left the washroom and doubt I will ever return.

Was it worth relaying this story?  I don’t know, but it makes me laugh and cringe everytime I think back to it.