The STDs Talk
Her: “How many women have you had sex with?”
You: “thirty-seven”
The Mistake: Even though she asked you she doesn’t want to know how many women you have been with. What she really wants to know is if you have any STDs or if you have been tested for STDs.
The Correction: Tell her that you don’t make it a habit to keep count; but that you have been tested and if it makes her feel better you will get tested again. Being upfront and honest will put her mind at ease.
The Birth Control Talk
Her: “Do you have a condom?”
You: “You should go on the pill.”
The Mistake: You think that you are being direct and responsible, but she thinks you are being selfish.
The Correction: Ask her if she likes how it feels when you wear a condom. You may have a chance because many women like the feeling of intercourse when you don’t wear a condom. Take this as an opportunity to eventually discuss your feelings towards the issue. This doesn’t mean she’s going to go on the pill the next day but she will be more open to considering it. Be patient and maybe she will decide whether or not she wants to go on the pill.
“Where Is This Going?” talk
Her: “Where is this going?”
You: “Whoa ease off.”
The Mistake: You assume she’s asking why you haven’t asked her to marry you. Wrong! What she really wants to know is if you see her in your short-term or long-term future.
The Correction: Ask her if you guys can talk about it on Saturday (or a couple of days from when she asks you). Then when you guys do have the discussion put everything out on the open. Your feelings and concerns, everything. What she wants is for you to at least think about the question she isn’t try to corner you or make you angry. If you don’t want things to continue on long-term tell her she will be prepared for the worst (if she didn’t want to know she shouldn’t have asked.)
The Sexual Desires Talk
Her: “Lets just cuddle tonight”
You: “Why don’t you ever want to have sex with me anymore”
The Mistake: Laying a guilt trip on her isn’t cool neither is selfishness. You may come off as if you only care about getting your own way.
The Correction: Ask her if she wants a massage sure she may know your motive, but you are trying to put her feelings first she may be willing to overlook it. If she still only wants to cuddle than let her. In the morning you can try initiating sex. Women feel more aroused during the morning hours.
The Money Talk
Her: “Do you like my new purse?”
You: “Do you really need another purse?”
The Mistake: No, maybe she didn’t need a new purse, just like you didn’t need that new PlayStation game but get over it.
The Correction: Tell her it looks nice. Then politely bring up the trip you guys are saving for. If you guys haven’t made an arrangement about how much you each or going to save that consider this the time to start making those decisions. Make a budget that you both agree on. Along with needed expenses you do need to make room to have some fun.
The Room to Breath Talk
Her: “I need some space for myself”
You: “Hope you have a nice life”
The Mistake: When a woman asks for space that doesn’t mean she is or is trying to dump you. What it means is she just wants to take a couple days out for herself. Or she is possibly testing you to gauge your reaction to see how invested you are in the relationship.
The Correction: Tell her she can take as much space as she needs. There is a good chance within the next week she’ll be calling you back with a clear head telling you she misses you. During that time you should think about how you feel about the relationship. Write it down in a letter, the good and the bad parts of your relationship then send it to her. She may not come running but it will get the conversation between the two of you started and will show her you were willing to take the time and effort to convey how you feel.
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