1. Ahhh…I see the fuck-up fairy has visited us again…
2. I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronounce.
3. How about never? Is never good for you?
4. I see you’ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
5. I’m really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.
6. I’ll try being nicer if you’ll try being smarter.
7. I’m out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message…
8. I don’t work here. I’m a consultant.
9. It sounds like English, but I can’t understand a word you’re saying.
10. I can see your point, but I still think you’re full of shit.
11. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
13. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don’t give a damn.
14. I’m already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
16. Thank you. We’re all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
17. The fact that no one understands you doesn’t mean you’re an artist.
18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
20. I’m not being rude. You’re just insignificant.
21. It’s a thankless job, but I’ve got a lot of Karma to burn off.
22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
23. No, my powers can only be used for good.
24. You sound reasonable… Time to up the medication.
25. Who me? I just wander from room to room
26. And your crybaby whiny-butt opinion would be…?
27.Do I look like a people person?
28. This isn’t an office. It‘s Hell with fluorescent lighting.
29. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
31. You!… Off my planet!
32. Does your train of thought have a caboose?
33. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
34. A PBS mind in an MTV world.
35. Allow me to introduce my selves.
36. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
37.Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.
38. Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.
40. I’m trying to imagine you with a personality.
41. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
42. Stress is when you wake up screaming & you realize you haven’t fallen asleep yet.
43. Can I trade this job for what’s behind door 1?
44. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
45. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
46. Chaos, panic, & disorder – my work here is done.
47.How do I set a laser printer to stun?
48. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted the paychecks.
49. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
50. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
Nearly all guys who pass mcp training exams, are interested in cwna, which is basically Certified Wireless Network Administrator; because there’s a lot about wireless networking that one needs to know. So you can prepare for this exam while your stays at mcse boot camp. The 640-802 is basically the Cisco Certified Network Associate exam which is the composite test associated with the Cisco Certified Network Associate degree.
Haha… the fuck-up fairy. He never gets a day off, does he.
Found your site through Stumble-Upon. Love it!
Thanks for stopping by. Got to Love Stumble.
I can’t remember where they came from, I’ve had them saved for years.
I just woke up….now I know I’m going to have a good day!
LOL, soooooooo fuckin funny ! Love the sarcasm …
Ironically I’ve said number 6, 49, and 50 at work.
I’d like to give a damn but I don’t.
I use about 5 regularly … 12 recently, and No. 50 today … but then I’m English.
Am I the only one who noticed there is no number 39?
and number 30?
Haha… good phrases
Very funny!
HAHA. I definitely agree with this one sometimes:
“I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted the paychecks.”
Mheh….
Good stuff here!! Found you through Entrecard!
These phrases are great! Everyone thinks these things.
Very funny! If only I could say these things and a few more.
Well, I’m self employed, so I can say all those things and more.
Great list. I’ll have to try some of them.
But if you are self employed who would you get to say them too?
To my customers and clients that piss me off.
I'll use some of these awesome phrases with my English-speaking colleagues. Guess they have good sense of humour!
There are only 49.
Correction: 48
You are correct. There is no #30 or #39. Can anyone come up with the missing phrases?
Two I enjoy using are: 'Does this look like the face of a person that cares' and 'Here's a quarter, go call someone who cares'.