Month: September 2007

  Something To Offend Damn-Near Everyone. . . Which sexual position produces the ugliest children? Ask your mom. How do you know you’re leading a sad life? When a nymphomaniac tells you, “Let’s just be friends.” What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? If we don’t get some support soon, people are going to think we’re nuts. Why don’t bunnies make noise when they make love? Because they have cotton balls. Do you know why ghosts don’t make noise when they make love? Because they have hollow weenies! What do you get when you cross an Owl and a Rooster? A cock that stays up all night. Mom’s have Mother’s Day, Father’s have Father’s Day. What do single guys have? Palm Sunday Why is being in the military like a blow-job? The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel. What do you call a ninety year old man who can still masturbate? Miracle Whip. What does a 75 year old woman have between her breasts? Her navel. What has a whole bunch of little balls and screws old ladies? A bingo machine. Are birth control pills deductible? Only if they don’t work. What’s the difference between a porcupine and a BMW? The porcupine has pricks on the outside. Why did God create alcohol? So ugly people have a chance to have sex too....