1. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.

2. Always yield to temptation, because it may not pass your way again.

3. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

4. A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

5. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.

6. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.

7. No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.

8. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

9. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.

10. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.